Wedding Text Messages [blog]

1. The Bureau of Meteorology forecasts rainstorms so the bride can expect a few good inches overnight.

2. Love is a thousand miles long but comes in six inch installments.

3. "The trouble with being the best man at a wedding is that you never get to prove it."

4. Confucious say man who sink into womans arms soon have arms in womans sink.

5. Sorry I cannot be at Wedding... Please send me a photo of Bride and Groom Mounted.

6. Easy on the throttle, steady on the gears, roll her over gently and She'll last for many years.

7. Dont keep him in the dog house too often or he might give his bone to the woman next door.

8. Treat him like a flower... grab him by the stalk.

9. If you don't want the Stork to come, Shoot in the air.

10. Go for it mate. We all did!

11. All the best from Mr and Mrs Farkin and all the Farkin kids.

12. She offered her honour, He honoured her offer, and all night he was on her and off her.

13. Don't Spring on the Inner-Spring this Spring or there will be an OffSpring next Spring.

14. Hope your honeymoon is like a train ride through the Khyber Pass, One long hard route.

15. Please remember that Brandy makes you Randy, Whisky makes you Frisky, but its a good stiff Johnny Walker that makes you Pregnant.

16. Travel Agency to Bride: The grooms face leaves at midnight. Be on it.

17. Congratulations on the termination of your isolation and may I express an appreciation of your determination to end the desperation and frustration which has caused you so much consternation in giving you the inspiration to make a combination to bring an accumulation to the population.

18. Football coach to bride: If you've tried him in 18 positions and he's still no good, pull him off.

19. Treat the Bride like a new car, go easy for the first 500.