You're Drinking Too Much Coffee When

• You channel surf faster without a remote.

• You're offended when people use the word "brew" to mean beer.

• You speak perfect Arabic without ever taking a lesson.

• Your Thermos is on wheels.

• Your lips are permanently stuck in the sipping position.

• You have a picture of your coffee mug on your coffee mug.

• You can outlast the Energizer bunny.

• You don't even wait for the water to boil anymore.

• Your nervous twitch registers on the Richter Scale.

• You can't even remember your second cup.

• You help your dog chase its tail.

• You soak your dentures in coffee overnight.

• Your first-aid kit contains two pints of coffee with an I.V. hookup.