Sunday, September 4, 2011

You Know You're a Nurse When...

  • you wash your hands BEFORE you go to the bathroom

  • you occasionally park in the space marked 'Physicians Only' (and knock over the sign!)

  • you recognize that you can't cure stupid.

  • you have at least three pens with the names of prescription medications on them.

  • you believe there's a special place in hell for the inventor of the call light.

  • you believe that saying 'it can't get any worse' causes it to get worse just to show you it can.

  • you consider a tongue depressor an eating utensil.

  • eating microwave popcorn out of a clean bedpan is perfectly natural.

  • you don't get excited about blood, unless it's your own.

  • discussing dismemberment over a gourmet meal is perfectly normal to you.

  • you've ever heard a patient with a nose ring, a brow ring, and twelve earrings say 'I'm afraid of shots.'

  • you've ever placed a bet on someone's blood-alcohol level.

  • you've told a confused patient that your name is that of a coworker and to call if they need help.

  • you have seen more penises than any prostitute could dream of.

  • you believe that not all patients are annoying....some are unconscious.

  • your idea of fine dining is anywhere you can sit down to eat.

  • you advocate aerial spraying of Prozac.

  • you believe that unspeakable evils should befall anyone who utters the phrase -- "Wow, it's really quiet, isn't it?"

  • you have ever had a patient look you straight in the eye and say -- "I have no idea how that got stuck up there."

1 comment:

  1. LOL, just now saw this..sounds sooo familiar


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