The Penis List

• The Absolut Vodka penis: It's absolut' perfection.

• The Alkaseltzer penis: Pop, pop, fizz, fizz... Oh, what a relief it is...

• The All-State penis: You're in good hands.

• The American Express penis: Don't leave home without it.

• The AOL penis: It's so easy to use, no wonder it's #1?

• The AT&T penis: Reach out and touch someone.

• The Avis penis: Trying harder than ever.

• The Barney penis: It says "I love you!"

• The Beavis penis: Look! it's changing color!

• The Beef penis: It's what's for dinner.

• The Bic Lighter penis: Go ahead flick my bic!

• The Big Red penis: It's longer with big red.

• The Borden penis: It's GOT to be good.

• The Bounty penis: The quicker picker-upper.

• The Budweiser penis: This bud's for you!

• The Burger King penis: Have it your way..

• The C&C Music Factory penis: Makes you go hmmmmm...

• The California Lotto penis: Who's next?

• The Calloway Putter penis: It will improve your stroke.

• The Cambells soup penis: Mmm mmm good!

• The Captain Planet penis: Go PENIS!!

• The Champion penis: The official penis of the '96 U.S.A olympic team.

• The Charmin double roll penis: It lasts longer because it is longer.

• The Chevy penis: Like a rock.

• The Chips Ahoy penis: Betcha bite a chip.

• The Cinnamon Toast Crunch penis: Its the adult thing to do.

• The Citibank Visa penis: It's everywhere you want to be.

• The CNN Sports Illustrated penis: As interactive as you can get without getting bruised.

• The Cobain penis: It blows itself away.

• The Coca Cola penis: Always the Real Thing.

• The Crest penis: Recommended by 3 out of 4 dentists.

• The Dairy Queen penis: Hot eats, cool treats (we treat you right)

• The Dial penis: Aren't you glad you use it? Don't you wish everybody did?

• The Diet Pepsi penis: You got the right one, baby.

• The Diet Coke penis: Just for the taste of it...

• The Dodge Neon penis: There's a "lot more to love!"

• The Domino's Pizza penis: Delivers in 30 minutes or less!

• The Doublemint penis: Double your pleasure, double your fun!

• The Doublemint penis: Chewing really satisfies.

• The Energizer penis: It keeps going and going...

• The Erricson Cell Phone penis: Whip out your little one.

• The Equal penis: Tastes like Sugar.

• The Excedrin penis: It's tthhhhiiiiiiissss big.

• The Extra penis: Lasts an extra extra extra long time!

• The Flintstone's Vitamins penis: 10 million strong and growing!

• The Ford penis: The best never rest.

• The Franks Red Hot Sauce penis: It's the oooh without the ouch.

• The Frosted Flakes penis: They're GGGRRRRRREEEEAAAAATTT!

• The Fruit-by-the Foot penis: Need I say more?

• The FTD penis: Some of life's best moments come FTD.

• The General Electric penis: We bring good things to life!

• The Generic penis: One size fits all.

• The George of the Jungle penis: Watch out for that....tree?

• The Gillette penis: The best a man can get.

• The GMC Envoy penis: It's the real McCoy.

• The GMC Yukon penis: Beautifully designed. Powerfully built. Genetically engineered.

• The Hardees Breakfast penis: Rise and shine.

• The Helene Zinn penis: You can't eat that!!!

• The Insinkerator Disposal penis: The choice of 9 out of 10 professionals.

• The Jell-O penis: Watch it wiggle, watch it jiggle...

• The Jewel penis: Take a new look at an old friend.

• The Jolly Green *Giant* penis: Self-explanatory

• The Juicy Fruit penis: The taste is gonna move ya.

• The Just For Men penis: A sure thing for a natural look.

• The Kix penis: Kid tested, mother approved.

• The Knick Knack Patty Wack penis: This old man comes rolling home!!

• The Lays penis: Betcha can't eat just one!

• The Life penis: Mikey likes it.

• The Life Call penis: It's fallen and it can't get up.

• The Little Caesar's penis: Penis!! Penis!! or Pleaser! Pleaser!

• The Lucky Charms penis: They're magically delicious!

• The Luv's penis: It'll take a load off your mind.

• The Macintosh penis: It does more,it costs less,it's that simple.

• The Magnavox penis: Smart. Very Smart.

• The McDonald's penis: Over 8 billion served.

• The McDonald's penis: Have you had your break today?

• The MCI penis: For friends and family!

• The Men's Healthy Magazine penis: It's a perfect fit.

• The MicroMachines penis: A whole world, in the palm your hand.

• The Microsoft penis: Where do you want to go today?

• The Milk penis: It does a body good!

• The Miller Lite penis: Great taste, less filling.

• The M&M penis: Melts in your mouth, not in your hand!

• The Monty Python penis II: "Every sperm is sacred...."

• The Mortal Kombat penis: Nothing can prepare you.

• The NBA on TNT penis: Ever want something so bad it hurts?

• The New York Lotto penis: Cause hey - you never know.

• The Newport penis: It's alive with pleasure.

• The Nike penis: Just do it.

• The Nintendo penis: Now you're playing with power.

• The Nuprin penis: Little, Yellow, Different.

• The Nyquil penis: The nighttime coughing, sneezing,runny nose, itching, burning, so you can't rest penis.

• The Oasics Running Shoe penis: There's one less excuse to skip a day.

• The Payday penis: Its almost totally nuts!

• The Phillips MOM penis: It's always stimulant free.

• The Pillsbury Flour penis: It comes plain or self rising.

• The Pizza Hut penis: Makin' it great.

• The Pontiac penis: Built for kicks, Built for Keeps!

• The Portofino Bay penis: Extraordinary. Exciting. Exceptional.

• The Post Selects Cereal penis: Not everything that goes into "Post Select fits.

• The Power of Cheese penis: Just saying it is enough to make you smile.

• The Pringles penis: Once you pop, you can't stop...

• The Psychic penis: It knows you are coming before you do..

• The Purdue penis: More meat, less bone.

• The Ragu penis: Comes out chunkier than the rest.

• The Reach Toothbrush penis: It cleans hard to reach places.

• The Reese's penis: How do you eat your penis?

• The Rice Krispies penis: what does your penis say to you?

• The Right Guard penis: Anything less is uncivilized.

• The Robitussin penis: Used by nine out of ten moms.

• The Robutussin penis: Recommended by Dr. Mom...

• The Sanka penis: Good to the last drop!

• The Sears penis: Come see the softer side.

• The Secret penis: Strong enough for a man, but made for a woman.

• The Sega penis: PENIS!

• The Siskel & Ebert penis: 2 thumbs up...

• The Slim Fast penis: Helps you loose weight, makes you feel great.

• The Snickers penis: It satisfies you.

• The Speed Stick Ultimate penis: It kills 99% of odor-causing germs for 24 hours.

• The Springmaid penis: Makes you snore like a lady.

• The Sprite penis: Image is nothing... Taste is everything.

• The Starburst penis: The juice is loose!

• The Star Trek penis: To Boldly Go Where No Man Has Gone Before.

• The Subaru All Wheel Drive penis: You can put it where the sun don't shine.

• The Taco Bell penis: Get some; make a run for the border!

• The Sustecal penis : More protein, less fat !

• The Timex penis: Takes a lickin and keeps on.......

• The Tombstone penis: What would you like on your penis?

• The Tootsie Roll Pop penis: How many licks DOES it take ...?

• The Toyota penis: I love what you do for me!

• The Toyota penis: Oh,what a feeling.

• The Transformers penis: It's more than meets the eye.

• The Twizzler penis: It makes mouths happy.

• The Uncle Sam penis: We want you.

• The Viagra penis: It lets the dance begin.

• The Virginia Slims penis: You've come a long way, baby!

• The Wendy's penis: Where's the beef?

• The Wendy's penis: It takes two hands to handle a whopper.

• The Wizard of Oz penis: "Oh my!"

• The Yellow Pages penis: Let your fingers do the walkin.