Saturday, February 16, 2013

Police Quotes

  • "The handcuffs are tight because they're new. They'll stretch out after you wear them awhile."

  • "If you run, you'll only go to jail tired."

  • "So, you don't know how fast you were going? I guess that means I can write anything I want on the ticket, huh?"

  • "Warning! You want a warning? O.K., I'm warning you not to do that again or I'll give you another ticket."

  • "The answer to this last question will determine whether you are drunk or not. Was Mickey Mouse a cat or dog?"

  • "Yeah, we have a quota. Two more tickets and my wife gets a toaster oven."

  • "Life's tough. It's tougher if you're stupid."

  • "No sir, we don't have quotas anymore. We used to have quotas, but now we're allowed to write as many tickets as we want."

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