Friday, June 27, 2014

Jokes for Friday 27th June 2014

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SydesJokes Facebook Page Posts

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Maths

https://www.facebook.com/photo.php?fbid=616946781671221

Robert De Niro Quote

https://www.facebook.com/photo.php?fbid=616998658332700

Pigs

https://www.facebook.com/photo.php?fbid=617053874993845

Lyndon B. Johnson knew how to have a good time

https://www.facebook.com/photo.php?fbid=617139051651994

Mabel's Mobile Manscaping

https://www.facebook.com/photo.php?fbid=617311781634721

Check more on Facebook --> http://SydesJokes.com/Facebook

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Joke # 1

Support Group




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Joke # 2

Every time I hear the dirty word 'exercise', I wash my mouth out with chocolate.

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Joke # 3

Two prisoners were having a chat. The first one said. "I've got two tickets for the warden's ball, Do you want to buy one?"

"No thanks," said the second guy. "I can't dance."

"It's not a dance," said the first prisoner. "It's a raffle!"

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Joke # 4

Q: What did the teddy bear say when it was offered dessert?
A: No thank you, I’m stuffed.

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Joke # 5

Lorraine was driving through a town in Montana and stopped Little Johnny, to ask where she could find a taxidermist.

Little Johnny said he did not think there was any there. She said, "Are you sure?"

At that, he admitted he did not know what the word meant. Therefore, she explained that a taxidermist is a man who mounts animals.

Little Johnny said, "Oh hell, we have got plenty of them around here, only we call them sheepherders!"

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Joke # 6

An archaeologist was digging in the Negev Desert in Israel and came upon a casket containing a mummy. After examining it, he called the curator of a prestigious natural-history museum.

"I've just discovered a 3,000 year-old mummy of a man who died of heart failure!" the excited scientist exclaimed.

To which the curator replied, "Bring him in. We'll check it out."

A week later, the amazed curator called the archaeologist. "You were right about the mummy's age and cause of death. How in the world did you know?"

"Easy. There was a piece of paper in his hand that said, '10,000 Shekels on Goliath'."

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Joke # 7

A lady was a huge Paul McCartney fan and wanted a tattoo of him on the inside of her thigh. She went to the parlour and told the guy what she wanted.

He says: "OK, take your skirt and underwear off and sit in the chair with your legs apart".

She did that and he started on the tattoo. Pretty soon he's done, blows off the dust and admires his work.

"Who the heck's that?" she says. "It's Paul McCartney", he replies.

"Doesn't look like him at all" says she. "Now get it right or I'll report you".

So the tattooist starts on the other thigh. Really trying hard to do a better job. Finally he's done, blows off the dust and feels pretty good.

The woman is pissed off "No way that's Paul Mccartney" she says. "It bloody well is" says the man. "Listen I'll get a second opinion"

He goes out of his store and grabs the first person he sees. The guy is a drunk who's been stumbling along the sidewalk. The tattooist drags the drunk into his store. There's the woman, sitting legs apart with nothing on below her waist.

The tattoist says to the drunk (pointing at the womans legs)..."Tell me who the hell you think that is".

The drunk says (in a drunken slur voice), "I've no idea who the people are on her thighs but the guy in the middle is a dead ringer for Willie Nelson"!

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Joke # 8

Q: What did the calculator say to the math student?
A: You can count on me!

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SydesJokes Blog Posts

Newly Married Couple

http://sydesjokes.blogspot.com/2012/06/newly-married-couple.html

An old lady dies and goes to heaven

http://sydesjokes.blogspot.com/2012/06/old-lady-dies-and-goes-to-heaven.html

Merits of Cosmetic Surgery

http://sydesjokes.blogspot.com/2012/06/merits-of-cosmetic-surgery.html

Getting Home Late

http://sydesjokes.blogspot.com/2012/06/getting-home-late.html

Big-dick Contest

http://sydesjokes.blogspot.com/2012/06/bigdick-contest.html

More funny posts --> http://bit.ly/h97b22

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SydesJokes Video Clips

Copying

http://bit.ly/9bNwhU

Cupid

http://bit.ly/cO1odz

Eddie Izzard - Ich Bin Ein Berliner

http://bit.ly/cVgk8k

Stationary Is Bad #1

http://bit.ly/b4T5I9

Pimp My Ride - Golf #3

http://bit.ly/9UJOok

More video clips --> http://bit.ly/Vk7wDY

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