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Saturday, September 13, 2014

Jokes for Saturday 13th September 2014

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SydesJokes Facebook Page Posts

Please Like the posts and leave your comments.

Grandparents' House Rules

http://on.fb.me/12HW0IY

Maths Magic

http://on.fb.me/12HW0Zl

Be Positive

http://on.fb.me/12HVY3H

Gandhi #Quote

http://on.fb.me/12HVY3R

I AM

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Check more on Facebook --> http://SydesJokes.com/Facebook

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Joke # 1

Coffeeology




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Joke # 2

When I was young we used to go "skinny dipping," now I just "chunky dunk."

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Joke # 3

A blonde walked up to the front desk of the library and said, "I borrowed a book last week, but it was the most boring I've ever read. There was no story whatsoever, and there were far too many characters!"

The librarian replied, "Oh, you must be the person who took our phone book."

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Joke # 4

Q: What did the computer screen say to the keyboard after it went for a ride?
A: That was a harddrive.

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Joke # 5

A pharmacist walked into his pharmacy and saw a man standing tightly against a wall making a funny face, so he asked the technician working that day, "What is going on?"

She said, "Well, he came in with a bad cough and asked for a cough suppressant, but we are out of it so I sold him a laxative."

The pharmacist said loudly, "Laxatives won't suppress a cough!"

She said, "I know that, but look at him -- he doesn't dare cough."

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Joke # 6

The middle aged secretary had never been married and had had enough of work, as well as the single life. It was no secret that she was looking to get married.

As she came back from her lunch hour with another bag from the drug store, a co-worker said, "In the past 3 weeks you've bought enough birth control pills to last a year, lots of vaginal foam, flavored douches, several diaphragms and Lord knows how many condoms. And you don't even have a boyfriend. Whom are you trying to seduce?"

She smiled slyly and replied, "The Druggist, silly."

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Joke # 7

A guy was in New York on a business trip and decided to head to a local bar for a drink. Standing outside the bar was a nun holding a tin cup.

As the man threw a few bucks into her cup the nun launched into a long tirade about the evils of alcohol. She went on and on about how alcohol was tearing apart the fabric of society and how it was the root of all the city's problems.

Slightly pissed off at having to listen to this the guy said,

"Listen sister, I work hard for my money and sometimes at the end of a long day I like a drink or two. That doesn't make me a bad person. I have a wife I idolize and two wonderful kids at home. I provide for my family, I volunteer my time to several local service clubs and I contribute regularly to various charities. Yet you stand here and condemn me just because I drink the occasional glass of scotch!"

The nun was slightly taken aback and replied, "I see your point my son and I apologize if I offended you but the alcohol is such a powerful demon that all who consume it are doomed..."

"Look there you go again," said the man, "How can you make such a sweeping statement. Have you ever even TRIED alcohol?"

"Of course not!" gasped the nun, "The evil alcohol has never touched my lips."

"Do you really think that one glass of booze can change you from a devout nun to some kind of evil degenerate?"

"Well, I really don't know ...."

"I'll tell you what, come into the bar with me and I'll buy you a drink. One drink. I'll prove to you that "evil" is not inside the glass, it's inside the person."

"Oh I could never be seen going into such a den of inequity, it's out of the question. However, your comment about evil residing in the person rather than the glass is quite intriguing. I must admit you've aroused a curiosity in me."

"Well let's go inside and settle this"

"No my son, I could never enter such a place... but how about this. Take my tin cup with you and fill it with this "scotch" you mentioned. Bring it out to me and I'll try it."

"You're on!" said the guy.

The nun removed all the change and handed him the tin cup. He went into the bar and said to the bartender, "Two scotch on the rocks, and could you put one of them in this tin cup please"

The bartender sighed and said, "Is that fucking nun out there again!"

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Joke # 8

Q: What is a pirate's favourite letter?
A: R(Arrrrrggggh)

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SydesJokes Blog Posts

Osama Bin Laden Facebook Status

http://sydesjokes.blogspot.com/2012/01/osama-bin-laden-facebook-status.html

Some Fun Facts

http://sydesjokes.blogspot.com/2012/01/some-fun-facts.html

Pessimist vs Optimist

http://sydesjokes.blogspot.com/2012/01/pessimist-vs-optimist.html

Wine

http://sydesjokes.blogspot.com/2012/01/wine.html

Welcome To My House

http://sydesjokes.blogspot.com/2012/01/welcome-to-my-house.html

More funny posts --> http://bit.ly/h97b22

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SydesJokes Video Clips

Wicked Trick

http://bit.ly/aiLbHP

Saudi Skating

http://bit.ly/a2xiI1

Car Gymnastics

http://bit.ly/aibSrf

Flying Motorcycle

http://bit.ly/c1lrNe

Boat Drop

http://bit.ly/b176Hp


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