Sunday, September 7, 2014

Jokes for Sunday 7th September 2014

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Plexus Slim

Consider the following:

-> 95% of all diets and weight loss programs fail.
-> 8 out of 10 Americans over the age of 25 are overweight.
-> 174 million Americans are overweight or obese.
-> The worldwide number is expected to double by 2030.
-> 25.8 million children and adults in the United States (8.3% of the population) have diabetes.

Source: Centers for Disease Control.

Check how Plexus products can help you lose weight -->


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Joke # 1

Swear Jar


Joke # 2

Good girls prefer the missionary position. Bad girls do too, but only for starters.


Joke # 3

Most women prefer sex with the lights off because they can't bear to see a man enjoying himself. Men like the lights on - so they can get the woman's name right.

That explains why bisexuals prefer sex under strobe lights.


Joke # 4

Q: Why did the orange use suntan lotion?
A: He started to peel.


Joke # 5

An old man just had a heart transplant and was getting instructions from his doctor. He was placed on a strict diet, denied tobacco and alcohol, and advised to get at least eight hours sleep a night.

"What about my sex life?" asked the old man "Will it be all right for me to have intercourse?"

"Only with your wife," said the doctor. "We don't want you to get too excited."


Joke # 6

Doing a roll call on the first day back at school at Brookstown Primary, the teacher began calling out the names of the pupils:

"Mustafa El Ekh Zeri?"

"Achmed El Kabul?"

"Fatima Al Chadoury? "

"Abdul Alu Ohlmi?"

Mohammed Ibn Achrha?"

"Mi Cha El Mey Er"

Silence in the classroom.

"Mi Cha El Mey Er"

Continued silence as everyone looked around the room.

She repeated, "Is there any child here called Mi Cha El Mey Er?"

A boy arose and said, "Sorry teacher. I think that's me. My name is Michael Meyer."


Joke # 7

A kind-hearted fellow was walking through Central Park in New York and was astonished to see an old man, fishing rod in hand, fishing over a beautiful bed of red roses.

"Tsk Tsk!" said the passerby to himself. "What a sad sight. Thatpoor old man is fishing over a bed of flowers. I'll see if I can help." So the kind fellow walked up to the old man and asked,

"What are you doing, my friend?"

"Fishin', sir."

"Fishin', eh. Well how would you like to come have a drink with me?"

The old man stood put his rod away and followed the kind stranger to the corner bar. He ordered a large glass of vodka and a fine cigar.

His host, the kind fellow, felt good about helping the old man, and he asked, "Tell me, old friend, how many did you catch today?"

The old fellow took a long drag on the cigar, blew a careful smoke ring and replied, "You are the sixth today, sir!"


Joke # 8

Q: Where does an elephant go when he wants to lie down?
A: Anywhere he pleases.


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