Sunday, February 22, 2015

Jokes for Saturday 14th February 2015

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Sweet couple

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Smiley Faces

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This bridge in Vietnam has a dragon that breathes fire

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Roger Ebert #Quote

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When Hugh Hefner Dies

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Joke # 1

Never judge someone




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Joke # 2

The tooth fairy teaches children that they can sell body parts for money.

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Joke # 3

The doctor was known for miraculous arthritis cures and as you might imagine, his waiting room was full of people. A little old lady, completely bent over in half, shuffled in slowly, leaning on her cane. When her turn came, she went into the doctor's office and emerged a short time later walking completely erect with her head held high.

A woman in the waiting room who had seen all this walked up to the little old lady and said, "It's a miracle! You walked in bent in half and now you're walking erect!"

The little old lady said, "Miracle, shmiracle, he gave me a longer cane."

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Joke # 4

Q: Why was 6 afraid of 7?
A: Because 7 ate 9.

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Joke # 5

The heaviest element known to science is Managerium.

This element has no protons or electrons, but has a nucleus made up of 1 neutron, 2 vice-neutrons, 5 junior vice-neutrons, 25 assistant vice-neutrons, and 125 junior assistant vice- neutrons all going round in circles.

Managerium has a half-life of three years, at which time it does not decay but institutes a series of reviews leading to reorganization.

Its molecules are held together by means of the exchange of tiny particles known as morons.

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Joke # 6

A young couple moved into a new neighborhood. The next morning while they were eating breakfast, the young woman saw her neighbor hanging the wash outside.

That laundry is not very clean, she said. "She doesn't know how to wash correctly. Perhaps she needs better laundry soap."

Her husband looked on, but remained silent.

Every time her neighbor would hang her wash to dry, the young woman would make the same comments.

About one month later, the woman was surprised to see a nice clean wash on the line and said to her husband, "Look, she has learned how to wash correctly. I wonder who taught her this?"

The husband said, "I got up early this morning and cleaned our windows."

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Joke # 7

It was Mickey's first night in the penitentiary. All of the inmates were in their cells and he was trying to become a bit more comfortable with his meager surroundings. As he leaned against the bars at the front of his cell, Mickey heard a voice call out "44" and the whole cell block erupted into laughter!

Another voice called "16" and again there was laughter.

A third voice called "62" which was followed by laughter throughout the block.

Mickey didn't know what was going on so he rapped on his cell wall.

Yeah, whaddaya want? came the gruff reply from next door.

What's going on, here? asked Mickey.

Well, said the other inmate, "down in the prison library there's only one joke book. We've all read the book so many times that we don't waste time telling the joke, we just call out it's number."

So the next day Mickey went down to the library and, sure enough, found the yellowed, dog-eared joke book and read it from cover to cover.

That night, wanting to be part of the group, Mickey confidently called out "44" and everyone laughed! He tried calling "16" and "62" and again there were peals of laughter. Then he called 57, and the halls rang with laughter.

After several minutes, one prisoner was still rolling on the floor laughing. More minutes - still laughing.

Mickey rapped on the cell wall.

Yeah, waddaya want? asked the other inmate.

I don't understand it, asked Mickey, "Why is Tommy STILL laughing?"

Well, said the gruff inmate, "He'd never heard that one before!"

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Joke # 8

Q: What goes up and down but never moves?
A: Stairs.

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SydesJokes Blog Posts

Presenting the Google Science Fair

http://sydesjokes.blogspot.com/2011/02/presenting-google-science-fair.html

Ultimate Camaflouge

http://sydesjokes.blogspot.com/2011/02/ultimate-camaflouge.html

Winter Blues

http://sydesjokes.blogspot.com/2011/02/winter-blues.html

Unusual Pictures

http://sydesjokes.blogspot.com/2011/02/unusual-pictures.html

Color Test

http://sydesjokes.blogspot.com/2011/02/color-test.html

More funny posts --> http://bit.ly/h97b22

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SydesJokes Video Clips

Rev. Charles

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Memories

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South Park - Saddam in Heaven

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I Forgot

http://bit.ly/cBusqd

Misunderstanding

http://bit.ly/ayU1gC


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