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Friday, February 13, 2015

Jokes for Tuesday 10th February 2015

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SydesJokes Facebook Page Posts

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J.K Rowling #Quote

http://on.fb.me/1893Yuy

My family is tempermental

http://on.fb.me/1893YKY

Grandmas's Necklace

http://on.fb.me/1893Z1C

Oliver Wendell Holmes #Quote

http://on.fb.me/1893Zi3

Parenting

http://on.fb.me/18942dF

Check more on Facebook --> http://SydesJokes.com/Facebook

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Joke # 1

When hashtags go bad




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Joke # 2

YAWN: An honest opinion openly expressed.

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Joke # 3

A fourth-grader came into the school office and told the secretary that she had missed her bus, Bus 6.

After checking schedules with the teacher on bus duty, the secretary confirmed that the girl did indeed miss her bus. "But don't worry," she told the child. "We'll call your mother."

No, you won't, the girl calmly replied. "She's driving Bus 6."

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Joke # 4

Q: Why did the tomato blush?
A: Because he saw the salad dressing!

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Joke # 5

The first guy said, "My wife, she thinks so much of me that she won’t let me do any work around the house. It’s incredible."

The second guy says, "That’s nothing. My wife thinks I’m God."

She thinks you’re God? What makes you say that?

Every night she places a burnt offering before me.

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Joke # 6

Old Aunt Cora went to her doctor to see what could be done about her troublesome constipation. "It's terrible," she said to the doctor. "I haven't moved my bowels in more than a week."

I see. Have you done anything about it? asked the doctor.

Oh, yes, Aunt Cora replied, "I sit in the bathroom for a good half of an hour in the morning and then again at night."

No, the doctor said, "I mean do you take anything?"

Of course I do. she answered, "I take my knitting and a magazine.."

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Joke # 7

A woman is at her hairdresser's getting styled. "I'm going on a trip to Rome with my husband."

The hairdresser responds, "Rome? Why would anyone want to go there? It's crowded and dirty. You're crazy to go to Rome. How are you getting there?"

We're taking United. We got a great rate!

United? What a terrible airline. Their planes are old, their flight attendants are surly and they're always late. Where are you staying in Rome?

We'll be at this exclusive little place called the De Russie.

Don't go any further. I know that place. Everybody goes there thinking it's going to be something special, but it's really a dump.

We're going to go to tour the Vatican and maybe get to see the Pope.

That's rich. You and a million other people trying to see him. He'll look the size of an ant. Boy, good luck on this trip of yours. You're going to need it.

A month later, the woman goes in for another styling. The hairdresser asks, "How was your trip to Rome?"

It was wonderful! Not only were we on time in one of United's brand new planes, but it was overbooked and they upgraded us to first class. The food and wine were wonderful and I had a handsome 28-year-old steward who waited on me hand and foot. And the hotel was great! They'd just finished a 20 million Euro remodeling job and it's a jewel, the finest hotel in the city. Funny thing, they were also overbooked, so they apologized and gave us a suite for the price of a room.

Well that's all well and good, but I bet you didn't get to see the Pope.

Actually, we were quite lucky. As we toured the Vatican a Swiss Guard tapped me on the shoulder. He explained that the Pope likes to meet some of the visitors, and if I'd be so kind as to step into his private room and wait, the Pope would personally greet me. Sure enough, five minutes later the Pope walked through the door and shook my hand! I knelt down and he spoke a few words to me ...

My Gosh! What did he say?!?

He said, 'Where'd you get that lousy haircut?'

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Joke # 8

Q: How do you make a rock float?
A: Put it in a glass with some ice cream and root beer.

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SydesJokes Blog Posts

Bridges

http://sydesjokes.blogspot.com/2011/02/bridges.html

Found It

http://sydesjokes.blogspot.com/2011/02/found-it.html

How to Have an Argument with a Woman

http://sydesjokes.blogspot.com/2011/02/how-to-have-argument-with-woman.html

Bone-less Chicken

http://sydesjokes.blogspot.com/2011/02/bone-less-chicken.html

Arab Sex Doll

http://sydesjokes.blogspot.com/2011/02/arab-sex-doll.html

More funny posts --> http://bit.ly/h97b22

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SydesJokes Video Clips

Budweiser - Mice

http://bit.ly/cGbWne

Great Tequila Commercials

http://bit.ly/aY06re

Jingle Bells Taxi Ride

http://bit.ly/dBBD7A

Water Fun

http://bit.ly/cgaeis

Dunk Shot

http://bit.ly/dktFY7


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