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Monday, March 30, 2015

Jokes for Friday 20th March 2015

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SydesJokes Facebook Page Posts

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Reading to children

http://on.fb.me/1n7eeZS

On Shanghai Tower

http://on.fb.me/1n7efgm

The Outernet

http://on.fb.me/1n7egB0

Albert Einstein #Quote

http://on.fb.me/1n7efNm

No matter how you feel

http://on.fb.me/1n7egRp

Check more on Facebook --> http://SydesJokes.com/Facebook

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Joke # 1

The smarter you get the less you speak




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Joke # 2

We discern a clever man by his answers and a wise one by his questions.

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Joke # 3

A man is bragging about his new hearing aid. "It's the best I've ever had," he says. "It cost $3,000."

His friend asks, "What kind is it?"

He says, "Half past four!"

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Joke # 4

Q: Why did the ref call a penalty during the Leper Hockey game?
A: Because there was a face off in the corner.

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Joke # 5

So this guy took his wife on a fishing trip, and she did everything wrong.

First, she kept talking out loud; everybody know that scares the fish away!

Then she used the wrong bait.

And then she was reeling in the line too soon.

But worst of all, she caught a lot more fish than he did!

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Joke # 6

A honeymoon couple is in the Watergate Hotel.

The new bride is concerned and asked, "What if the place is still bugged?"

The groom says "Hmm ... Good point. I'll look for a bug."

He looks behind the drapes, behind the pictures, under the rug ... "AHA!" he shouts!

Sure enough, under the rug was a small disc shaped plate, with four screws. He gets his Swiss army knife, unscrews the screws, throws them and the plate out the window.

The next morning, the hotel manager asks the newlyweds "How was your room? How was the service? How was your stay at the Watergate Hotel?"

Curious, the groom says, "And why, sir, are you asking me all of these questions?"

The hotel manager says "Well, the room UNDER yours complained of the chandelier falling on them!"

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Joke # 7

A Mother's Vocabulary

AMNESIA:

Condition that enables a woman who has gone through labor to make love again.

DUMBWAITER:

One who asks if the kids would care to order dessert.

FAMILY PLANNING:

The art of spacing your children the proper distance apart to keep you on the edge of financial disaster.

FEEDBACK:

The inevitable result when your baby doesn't appreciate the strained carrots.

FULL NAME:

What you call your child when you're mad at him.

GRANDPARENTS:

The people who think your children are wonderful even though they're sure you're not raising them right.

HEARSAY:

What toddlers do when anyone mutters a dirty word.

IMPREGNABLE:

A woman whose memory of labor is still vivid.

INDEPENDENT:

How we want our children to be as long as they do everything we say.

POW:

The first word spoken by children with older siblings.

PUDDLE:

A small body of water that draws other small bodies wearing dry clothes into it.

SHOW OFF:

A child who is more talented than yours.

STERILIZE:

What you do to your first baby's pacifier by boiling it and to your last baby's pacifier by blowing on it.

TOP BUNK:

Where you should never put a child wearing Superman pajamas.

TWO MINUTE WARNING:

When the baby's face turns red and she begins to make those familiar grunting noises.

VERBAL:

Able to whine in words.

WHODUNIT:

None of the kids that live in your house..

WEEKEND:

When Dad gets to play golf while Mom catches up on the laundry, cleans the house, runs errands, etc.

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Joke # 8

Q: What's a Lepers favorite sport?
A: Football.

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SydesJokes Blog Posts

Hospital Efficiency

http://sydesjokes.blogspot.com/2010/09/hospital-efficiency.html

Camels in the desert

http://sydesjokes.blogspot.com/2010/09/camels-in-desert.html

iPad Stand

http://sydesjokes.blogspot.com/2010/09/ipad-stand.html

The Melting Zone of Greenland

http://sydesjokes.blogspot.com/2010/09/melting-zone-of-greenland.html

The BEST break up letter ever!!

http://sydesjokes.blogspot.com/2010/09/best-break-up-letter-ever.html

More funny posts --> http://bit.ly/h97b22

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SydesJokes Video Clips

Agfa

http://bit.ly/9Urgb0

Amazing Flying Penguins

http://bit.ly/9eCFgD

Flying Hovercraft

http://bit.ly/gKyQ2T

Kegos

http://bit.ly/bHseKi

Monkey On Motorbike

http://bit.ly/9vgAxN


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