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Friday, March 6, 2015

Jokes for Friday 27th February 2015

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SydesJokes Facebook Page Posts

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A Flower

http://on.fb.me/1yLrJox

Todays' To Do

http://on.fb.me/1yLrJoH

From Penny to a Dollar

http://on.fb.me/1yLrJF9

If you are looking to have it your way

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Reading can seriously damage your ignorance

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Check more on Facebook --> http://SydesJokes.com/Facebook

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Joke # 1

Hello darkness my old friend




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Joke # 2

Why don't skeletons ever go out on the town? Because they don't have any body to go out with...

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Joke # 3

The waitress was tired of this one man always hitting on her, so she came up with a plan. "I'll tell you what, Lover. I'll have sex with you on two conditions. First, it'll cost you 50 bucks. Second, you have to guarantee me that bells will ring and lights will flash."

He smiled, handed her $50 and led her over to the pinball machine.

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Joke # 4

Q: My wife is five months pregnant and so moody that sometimes she's borderline irrational.
A: So what's your question?

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Joke # 5

A teacher was giving a lesson on the circulation of the blood.

Trying to make the matter clearer, she said, "Now, class, if I stood on my head, the blood, as you know, would run into it, and I would turn red in the face."

Yes, the class said. "Then why is it that while I am standing upright in the ordinary position the blood doesn't run into my feet?"

A little fellow shouted, "Cuz your feet ain't empty."

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Joke # 6

Sunday school teacher Ms. Brown had a class of five-year-olds. She began the lesson by saying, "Today we are going to study about Peter. Can anybody tell me who Peter was?"

A little lad in the back of the group raised his hand.

Oh, how nice, Ms. Brown said. "Billy knows. Billy, please come up front and tell the class who Peter was."

Billy quickly came to the front and said with great pride in his voice,

I fink he was a wabbit.

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Joke # 7

One day a boy saw a farmer selling a donkey for $100.00. The boy told the farmer he would pay the money if the farmer could deliver it to his house. The farmer agreed to deliver the donkey the next day but when he arrived at the boy's house there was no donkey.

He told the boy that the donkey died during the night. Saddened, the boy asked for his money back. "I'm afraid I have already spent the money." the farmer said.

Well, then just give me the donkey. said the boy. "

What are you going to do with a dead donkey?" asked the farmer. The boy told the farmer he would think of something, so the farmer delivered the donkey the next day.

The next month the farmer saw the boy and asked him what he ever did with the donkey. "I made $895.00 off of that thing." the boy said.

How could you make that much money off of a dead donkey? the farmer wanted to know.

The boy said, "I didn't tell anyone he was dead at first. I just put up signs around town that said I was going to raffle off a beautiful donkey for raffle tickets that cost $5.00 and I sold 200 tickets."

Wait a minute, said the farmer, "you said you made $895.00 but if you sold 200 tickets at $5.00 each that's $1,000.00. After you subtract the $100.00 you paid me you should have made $900.00,"

You're right, said the boy, "But when the winner found out the donkey was dead he was a little upset so I gave him his money back."

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Joke # 8

Q: My childbirth instructor says it's not pain I'll feel during labor, but pressure. Is she right?
A: Yes, in the same way that a tornado might be called an air current.

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SydesJokes Blog Posts

Oral sex

http://sydesjokes.blogspot.com/2011/01/oral-sex.html

Pub Signs

http://sydesjokes.blogspot.com/2011/01/pub-signs.html

The World's First Aircraft Carrier

http://sydesjokes.blogspot.com/2011/01/worlds-first-aircraft-carrier.html

Marble Caves of Rio Tranquilo

http://sydesjokes.blogspot.com/2011/01/marble-caves-of-rio-tranquilo.html

Be When You Grow Up

http://sydesjokes.blogspot.com/2011/01/be-when-you-grow-up.html

More funny posts --> http://bit.ly/h97b22

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SydesJokes Video Clips

Taco Town

http://bit.ly/bpWd8D

Buckle Up

http://bit.ly/floSrW

CED

http://bit.ly/9cocu8

How It Will Feel If Hillary Is Elected President

http://bit.ly/9n47Yh

Changing Tyres Can Be Dangerous #2

http://bit.ly/agiMI7


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