Friday, March 6, 2015

Jokes for Tuesday 3rd March 2015

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Something to think about

Lovers' names carved into a tree

Afternoon person

I am currently unsupervised

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Joke # 1

Virtual Wedding


Joke # 2

If a deaf person has to go to court, is it still called a hearing?


Joke # 3

An obnoxious guy walks into the neighborhood bar and sits next to a local honey already having her first beverage. As he tries to strike up a conversation she keeps ignoring him. Finally he says, "you know me, why don't you talk to me?"

She replies, "Yes, I know you, you're Morgan - big M, small organ."


Joke # 4

Q: Two men are at a restroom, one is entering and the other is leaving. What are their nationalities?
A: Simple! The first is Russian and the second is Finnish.


Joke # 5

Two men who haven't seen each other for many years meet on the street. One asks the other how things have been.

Wonderful, for a while, the other says. "I had it all: money, a magnificent house, a fast car, the love of a beautiful woman. Then, one day, poof! It was all gone."

What a shame, the friend says. "What on Earth happened?"

Says the other man: "My wife found out."


Joke # 6

Customer: "Do you have any cockroaches?"

Bait Shop Owner: "Yes, we sell them to fishermen."

Customer: "I would like 20,000 of them."

Bait Shop Owner: "Why do you want 20,000 of them?"

Customer: It is not for fish. I'm moving tomorrow, and my lease says I must leave my apartment in the condition in which I found it."


Joke # 7

Teacher, announced little Joey, "there's somethin' I can't figger out."

What's that Joey? asked the Sunday school teacher.

Well accordin' to the Bible, the Children of Israel crossed the Red Sea, right?


An' the Children of Israel beat up the Philistines, right?


An' the Children of Israel built the Temple, right?

Again you're right.

An' the Children of Israel fought the 'gyptians, an' the Children of Israel fought the Romans, an' the Children of Israel wuz always doin' somethin' important, right?

All that is right, too, agreed the teacher. "So what's your question?"

What I wanna know is this, demanded Joey. "What wuz all the grown-ups doin'?"


Joke # 8

Q: What do you call a drummer without a girlfriend?
A: Homeless.


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