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Monday, March 30, 2015

Jokes for Wednesday 18th March 2015

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SydesJokes Facebook Page Posts

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Give two reasons not to fire her

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Grillbillies

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Mad Hatter #Quote

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The Wal Mart 500

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The first

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Check more on Facebook --> http://SydesJokes.com/Facebook

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Joke # 1

Grammar is important




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Joke # 2

If you try and don't succeed, cheat. Repeat until caught. Then lie.

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Joke # 3

A secretary was bragging about her boss. She said, "My boss says, nothing is impossible."

The intimate friend said, "Ya, well tell him next time not to wear a condom during sex, enjoy it intimately and control pregnancy prospects."

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Joke # 4

Q: What do you do if an elephant comes through your window?
A: Swim!

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Joke # 5

A Kindergarten teacher was observing her classroom of children while they were drawing. She would occasionally walk around to see each child's work.

As she got to one little girl who was working diligently, she asked what the drawing was.

The girl replied, "I'm drawing God."

The teacher paused and said, "But no one knows what God looks like."

Without missing a beat, or looking up from her drawing, the girl: replied, "They will in a minute."

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Joke # 6

While taxiing at London Gatwick, the crew of a US Air flight departing for Ft. Lauderdale made a wrong turn and came nose to nose with a United 727. An irate female ground controller lashed out at the US Air crew, screaming: "US Air 2771, where the hell are you going! I told you to turn right onto Charlie taxiway! You turned right on Delta! Stop right there. I know it's difficult for you to tell the difference between 'C' and 'D', but get it right!"

Continuing her rage to the embarrassed crew, she was now shouting hysterically: "God! Now you've screwed everything up! It'll take forever to sort this out! You stay right there and don't move till I tell you to! You can expect progressive taxi instructions in about half an hour, and I want you to go exactly where I tell you, when I tell you, and how I tell you! You got that, US Air 2771?"

Yes ma'am, the humbled crew responded. Naturally, the ground control communications frequency fell terribly silent after the verbal bashing of US Air 2771. Nobody wanted to chance engaging the irate ground controller in her current state of mind. Tension in every cockpit out in Gatwick was definitely running high.

Just then an unknown pilot broke the silence and keyed his microphone, asking: "Wasn't I married to you once?"

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Joke # 7

There once was a powerful Japanese emperor who needed a new chief samurai. So he sent out a declaration throughout the entire known world that he was searching for a chief.

A year passed, and only three people applied for the very demanding position: a Japanese samurai, a Chinese samurai, and a Jewish samurai.

The emperor asked the Japanese samurai to come in and demonstrate why he should be the chief samurai. The Japanese samurai opened a matchbox, and out popped a bumblebee. Whoosh! went his sword. The bumblebee dropped dead, chopped in half.

The emperor exclaimed, "That is very impressive!" The emperor then issued the same challenge to the Chinese samurai, to come in and demonstrate why he should be chosen. The Chinese samurai also opened a matchbox and out buzzed a fly. Whoosh, whoosh, whoosh, whoosh! The fly dropped dead, chopped into four small pieces.

The emperor exclaimed, "That is very impressive!"

Now the emperor turned to the Jewish samurai, and asked him to demonstrate why he should be the chief samurai. The Jewish Samurai opened a matchbox, and out flew a gnat. His flashing sword went Whoosh! But the gnat was still alive and flying around.

The emperor, obviously disappointed, said, "Very ambitious, but why is that gnat not dead?"

The Jewish Samurai just smiled and said, "Circumcision is not meant to kill."

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Joke # 8

Q: Why did the koala fall out of the tree?
A: Because it was dead.

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SydesJokes Blog Posts

10 Step Guide For The Do-It-Yourself Handyman

http://sydesjokes.blogspot.com/2010/12/10-step-guide-for-do-it-yourself.html

New TSA T-Shirts - 3 of 3

http://sydesjokes.blogspot.com/2010/12/new-tsa-t-shirts-3-of-3.html

New TSA T-Shirts - 2 of 3

http://sydesjokes.blogspot.com/2010/12/new-tsa-t-shirts-2-of-3.html

New TSA T-Shirts - 1 of 3

http://sydesjokes.blogspot.com/2010/12/new-tsa-t-shirts-1-of-3.html

Advantages of Being a Temp

http://sydesjokes.blogspot.com/2010/11/advantages-of-being-temp-blog.html

More funny posts --> http://bit.ly/h97b22

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SydesJokes Video Clips

No God in Schools

http://bit.ly/bw0waT

Salmon

http://bit.ly/a2zSNh

Brit Fight

http://bit.ly/d1Wuud

Time For Your Own Car

http://bit.ly/cbutOx

Expert Blowjob Video

http://bit.ly/aBKB6C


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