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Saturday, February 3, 2018

Daily Jokes from SydesJokes for 3 Feb 2018

 

Joke 1

Being a mother

SydesJokes Blog

Original post: http://bit.ly/2DpE0qU


Joke 2

I love to give homemade gifts. Which one of my kids do you want?


Joke 3

Sadie and Sophie are sitting at the kitchen table, bragging.

"My daughter lives in a penthouse apartment in Miami," says Sadie. "She goes out to dinner every night at a different restaurant, has beautiful furs and clothes, and lots of boyfriends. "

Sophie replies, "Yeah, my daughter's a whore too."


Joke 4

Q: What do most men consider a gourmet restaurant?
A: Any place without a drive-up window.


Joke 5

A man took his wife to a Broadway show. During the first intermission he had to use the bathroom in the worst way, so he hurried to find the bathrooms.

He searched in vain for the rest rooms, but instead, all he found was a beautiful fountain with foliage. Nobody was watching, so he decided to take a go right there. When he finally got back into the auditorium, the second act had already begun.

He searched in the dark until he found his wife. "Did I miss much of the second act?" he asked.

"Miss it?" she said, "You were starring in it!"


Joke 6

An area minister tells of his first Sunday in the new parish and presenting the children's message.

Seems the sanctuary in the new church had some magnificent stained glass windows, so his message centered on how each of us is called of God to help make up the whole picture of life (the life of the community of the faithful). Like the pictures in the windows, it takes many little panels of glass to make the whole picture.

And then he said, "You see each one of you is a little pane."

And then pointing to each child individually. .

"You're a little pane. And you're a little pane. And you're a little pane. And..."

It took a few moments before he realized why everyone was laughing so hard.


Joke 7

A German, an American and an Englishman were exploring the jungle when they came across an breathtakingly beautiful waterfall.

After admiring it for a while, the American says, "When I look at this waterfall, I think of the great American Constitution, you know, where every atom of water is like an individual who has the freedom to make it's own way through the world in unison with nature."

The German says, "When I look at this waterfall, I think of the great German economy, strong and powerful and smooth running."

The Englishman, when asked about his thoughts says, "When I look at this waterfall, I think of oral sex."

The American and the German look at him in amazement.

"What is it about this waterfall makes you think of oral sex?"

"Uh, everything I look at makes me think of oral sex."


Joke 8

Q: What does a blonde call a blowjob in a Honda.
A: Her Civic duty


Life

SydesJokes Blog

Original post: http://bit.ly/2Dr1aNq


 

 

 

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