SydesJokes: October 2017

Tuesday, October 31, 2017

Daily Jokes from SydesJokes for 31 Oct 2017

Joke 1

Martin Luther king, Jr.

SydesJokes Blog

Original post: http://csyd.es/1/7

Joke 2

I don’t believe in miracles. I rely on them.

Joke 3

Little Sam was out shopping with his mother, something he didn't like very much. But when they passed a toy store, Sam came to life. He saw a new toy in the window that he didn't have but wanted. Sam begged, pleaded and nagged but to no avail. He got so rude that his mother firmly said, "I'm very sorry Sam, but we didn't come out to buy you a toy."

Sam angrily said, "I've never met a woman as mean as you."

Holding his hand gently, she replied, "Sam, darling, one day you'll get married and then you will ... you really will, I promise you."

Joke 4

Q: Which sexual position produces the ugliest children?
A: Ask your mother.

Joke 5

There is a story about a monastery in Europe perched high on a cliff several hundred feet in the air.

The only way to reach the monastery was to be suspended in a basket which was pulled to the top by several monks who pulled and tugged with all their strength.

Obviously the ride up the steep cliff in that basket was terrifying. One tourist got exceedingly nervous about half-way up as he noticed that the rope by which he was suspended was old and frayed.

With a trembling voice he asked the monk who was riding with him in the basket how often they changed the rope. The monk thought for a moment and answered brusquely, "Whenever it breaks."

Joke 6

A minister was planning a wedding at the close of the Sunday morning service.

After the benediction he had planned to call the couple down to be married for a brief ceremony before the congregation.

For the life of him, he couldn't think of the names of those who were to be married.

Will those wanting to get married please come to the front? he requested.

Immediately, nine single ladies, three widows, four widowers, and six single men stepped to the front.

Joke 7

After nearly 50 years of marriage, a couple was lying in bed one evening, when the wife felt her husband, begin to massage her in ways he hadn't in quite some time.

It almost tickled as his fingers started at her neck, and then began moving down past the small of her back. He then caressed her shoulders and neck, slowly worked his hand down, stopping just over her stomach.

He then proceeded to place his hand on her left inner arm, working down her side, passing gently over her buttock and down her leg to her calf.

Then, he proceeded up her thigh, stopping just at the uppermost portion of her leg. He continued in the same manner on her right side, then suddenly stopped, rolled over and became silent.

As she had become quite aroused by this caressing, she asked in a loving voice, 'Honey, that was wonderful. Why did you stop?' To which he responded:.

'I found the remote.'

Joke 8

Q: How do you embarrass an archeologist?
A: Give him a used tampon and ask him which period it came from.

Life's Short

SydesJokes Blog

Original post: http://csyd.es/1/91

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Crypto News: Trump to Appoint Bitcoin-Skeptic Powell as Fed Chair

President Trump is widely expected to nominate Federal Reserve Board of Governors member, Jerome H. Powell, for Senate confirmation as the next chair of the Federal Reserve. The potential Fed chair has previously stated what he sees as a tension with bitcoin as the Fed “could face difficult trade-offs between strengthening security and enabling illegal activity.”

Mr. Powell has held a Fed governor’s seat since 2012, and is currently at the relative beginning of a term that would have kept him installed until 2028.

Governor Powell appears familiar with bitcoin as a currency and Bitcoin as a network.

This spring, he gave a talk titled Innovation, Technology, and the Payments Systemfor the Yale Law School Center for the Study of Corporate Law, during nearly half of which he spent discussing “distributed ledger technologies” (DLT) and “digital currencies.”

“Bitcoin helped bring [DLT] to public attention,” the governor began. “Using blockchain technology – which employs a form of DLT – and an open architecture, Bitcoin allows for the transfer of value (bitcoins) between participants connected to its ecosystem without reliance on banks or other trusted intermediaries,” he outlined.

Full story at http://bit.ly/2xGeniz

Source: Bitcoin News

Crypto News: Satoshi Nakamoto’s Brilliant White Paper Turns 9-Years Old

On October 31 of 2008, a paper written by a person or group named ‘Satoshi Nakamoto’ released a white paper called “Bitcoin: A Peer-to-Peer Electronic Cash System.” The document issued to the subscribers of the cryptography mailing list described a revolutionary technology that created the world’s first genuine peer-to-peer and decentralized monetary system. The internet-based money enabled online payments without a third party and also wasn’t issued by a government or corporate entity. Nakamoto’s brilliant paper sums up Bitcoin’s primary attributes in the first few sentences that state:

"[Bitcoin] a purely peer-to-peer version of electronic cash would allow online payments to be sent directly from one party to another without going through a financial institution. Digital signatures provide part of the solution, but the main benefits are lost if a trusted third party is still required to prevent double-spending. We propose a solution to the double-spending problem using a peer-to-peer network. The network timestamps transactions by hashing them into an ongoing chain of hash-based proof-of-work, forming a record that cannot be changed without redoing the proof-of-work."

When Bitcoin was released into the wild in January of 2009, the decentralized network slowly started transforming the way society perceives money and the entire financial system in general. Bitcoin started with just a few adopters, like Hal Finney who received 10 BTC completing the very first bitcoin transaction. Now the protocol is used by millions of people from every corner of the world, giving individuals a better way to bank, while also moving their funds without permission from so-called rulers.

"Sorry to be a wet blanket. Writing a description for (bitcoin) for general audiences is bloody hard. There’s nothing to relate it to. ~ Satoshi Nakamoto"

Full story at http://bit.ly/2xGeoD9

Source: Bitcoin News

Crypto News: Citizens of Zimbabwe Use Bitcoin to Access International Markets

Yeukai Kasangaya, a representative of Golix, has discussed the growing bitcoin adoption that is taking place in Zimbabwe. Golix rebranded from BitFinance on the 1st of October this year, a decision that was prompted by the company’s belief that “bitcoin will not be the only digital currency that succeeds,” according to Golix CEO, Tawanda Kembo.

Mrs. Kasangaya recently told local media that “the general trend shows an increase in interest in the bitcoin,” describing such as the “normal upward-growth trajectory of most innovations.” Due in large part to the financial crises brought about by ongoing cash shortages and hyperinflation that has crippled large parts of Zimbabwe’s economy, Mrs. Kasangaya reports that the majority of transactions on Golix occur electronically.

“IT IS NOT NECESSARY TO HAVE CASH TO BUY BITCOIN. MOST PEOPLE JUST USE THE GENERALLY AVAILABLE ELECTRONIC MEANS. AS SUCH, THE BUYING OF BITCOIN IS NOT AFFECTED BY THE PREVAILING CASH SHORTAGES… IN THE EVENT THAT A SELLER WANTS CASH FOR BITCOIN, THEY WILL HAVE TO IDENTIFY SUCH A BUYER WITH CASH ON THEIR OWN AND DO A PEER TO PEER TRADE.”

Citizens of Zimbabwe Use Bitcoin to Access International MarketsMrs. Kasangaya states that Zimbabwean citizens are adopting bitcoin in order to access a variety of international markets. “Some use it to pay for services provided outside the country, such as software. For example, a local software engineer developing an app can use bitcoin to pay for necessary software tools. Others use bitcoin to, say, import a car they can use to run a small business …. The good news with using bitcoin for such purposes is that no foreign currency leaves the country, unlike a situation where the same person was to ask their bank to do a telegraphic transfer… [which] reduces the country’s pressure on nostro balances.”

Full story at http://bit.ly/2xGesmn

Source: Bitcoin News

Crypto News: Bitcoin Hits Fresh All-Time High Over Weekend

Bitcoin reached a new high over the weekend, moving upward as market participants traded the currency ahead of its hard fork.

The digital currency rose to as much as $6,306.58 at 20:15 UTC, CoinDesk Bitcoin Price Index (BPI) figures show.

By reaching this level, Bitcoin had returned more than 550% year-to-date, additional BPI data reveals.

This was only one of several highs the digital currency attained this year. Bitcoin hit several milestones in 2017, breaking through many key price levels and surpassing $100 billion in total market capitalization (market cap).

Full story at http://bit.ly/2xIBg57

Source: Forbes

Crypto News: Bitcoin's Price Climbs Above $6,400 to Hit All-Time High

The price of bitcoin has hit an all-time high, crossing $6,400 for the first time.

According to data from the CoinDesk Bitcoin Price Index (BPI), the price reached an average of $6,415.28 across global exchanges at roughly 14:00 UTC today. On Oct. 29, the price of bitcoin rose to $6,306.58, a move that came just over a week after markets moved above $6,000 for the first time.

Data shows markets have consistently traded above this level since Oct. 29. Overall, the price is up more than 500 percent since the start of the year, having begun trading below $1,000.

Today's climb also represents a gain of more than $200 in 24-hour trading, per data from the BPI, bringing bitcoin's market capitalization to roughly $106 billion.

Full story at http://bit.ly/2xGebjl

Source: CoinDesk

Crypto News: What If Satoshi Nakamoto Sold All His Bitcoin Today?

Essentially, the mysterious nature of Satoshi Nakamoto, Bitcoin's creator, means that the entire ecosystem is sitting on a potential volcano. It lays dormant at the moment, but if the creator had the inkling, he could flood the market with one mln coins and destroy its value.

One of the biggest mysteries in the technology world is the identity of Satoshi Nakamoto. No one knows who he is, where he is or what he is doing with his millions.

That is millions, as in millions of Bitcoins as it has been reasonably estimated that Nakamoto could own over one mln coins.

Matt Green, a cryptocurrency professor at Johns Hopkins University, says Nakamoto has the power to tank the currency if he wants to.

Full story at http://bit.ly/2xGeACn

Source: CoinTelegraph

Crypto News: Bitcoin surges to record above $6,400 after CME announces launch of futures for digital currency

CME announced Tuesday it plans to launch bitcoin futures in the fourth quarter, pending regulatory review.

Bitcoin rose to a record high above $6,400 Tuesday morning, according to CoinDesk, after the announcement by the world's largest futures exchange.

"Given increasing client interest in the evolving cryptocurrency markets, we have decided to introduce a bitcoin futures contract," Terry Duffy, CME Group chairman and CEO, said in a statement.

The leading global exchange for options and futures trading is the latest entrant into the business of offering derivatives for bitcoin, the volatile digital currency, which is not listed on a major exchange.

Full story at http://cnb.cx/2xGeDOz

Source: CNBC

Crypto News: This Might Be The Best Explanation For The Price Mania Around Bitcoin, Cryptocurrencies And ICOs

The Securities and Exchange Commission Investor Advisory Committee held a public meeting regarding blockchain and distributed ledger technology earlier this month, and one of the individuals who was invited to participate in the meeting was Chain CEO Adam Ludwin. During his opening remarks, Ludwin shared his perspective on the entire blockchain ecosystem (both public and private models), but the most compelling part of his appearance may have been when he shared his views on the current price mania around cryptocurrencies and initial coin offerings (ICO).

“I think you have to look at it from the perspective of the buyer and the seller mentality,” Ludwin said of the current digital asset market. “In essence, it is currently rational to be irrational as a buyer [or] a seller in this market.”

If you’re not aware, more than $3 billion has been raised through ICOs since the beginning of 2017 (according to Coinschedule). For those who don’t know the first thing about ICOs, check out Laura Shin’s in-depth piece about this new financial phenomenon from earlier in the year.

Full story at http://bit.ly/2xHH0Mz

Source: Forbes

Crypto News: Bitcoin's Market Cap Surges Past $100 Billion

Another day. Another record for bitcoin.

The most widely used digital currency will now cost you about $6,125 apiece after blowing past the $5,000 and $6,000 price levels for the first time earlier this month. Bitcoin’s total value is just over $100 billion, meaning it makes up more than half of the overall cryptocurrency market.

Cryptocurrency prices have been unfazed by recent regulatory crackdowns across the world and skepticism from Wall Street stalwarts including Warren Buffett and JPMorgan Chase & Co. Chief Executive Officer Jamie Dimon. More than $3 billion has poured into initial coin offerings this year despite warnings from the U.S. Securities and Exchange Commission and other government watchdogs.

The price of ether, the second most valuable virtual coin, has climbed 8 percent in the past week, eclipsing bitcoin’s 4.8 percent gain during the same period, according to Coinmarketcap.com. That comes amid cautious comments from Advanced Micro Devices Inc., a company that makes hardware for mining ether.

Full story at https://bloom.bg/2xGeH0L

Source: Bloomberg

Cryptocurrency News for 31 Oct 2017

Making Noise: Bitcoin Price Looks Higher as Global Volumes Grow

Bitcoin's rally is showing no signs of abating.

Prices surged to record levels on the CoinDesk Bitcoin Price Index (BPI) yesterday, with the world's largest cryptocurrency clocking a new all-time high of $6,306.58. With the push, bitcoin passed its previous high of $6,183 set on Oct. 21. At press time, the bitcoin-U.S. dollar (BTC/USD) exchange rate is $6,218.

As for why the price is trending higher, it seems there was an absence of strong news drivers. However, trading volumes in the BTC/USD pair jumped 103 percent on Sunday – indicating that the rally, fueled by trading activity, looks sustainable.

Volumes jumped to two-week highs on Sunday, and remain well below the Oct 13. high and the 2017 peak registered on Sept. 15.

Full story at http://bit.ly/2xEH2V8

Source: CoinDesk

Does Bitcoin Really Need Wall Street?

The expectation that Bitcoin's price will increase rapidly once institutional money starts flowing into the cryptocurrency, has resulted in a lot of Bitcoin holders eagerly awaiting Wall Street's formal entry in the crypto-markets. But does Bitcoin really need Wall Street?

Global banks have paid over $10 bln in penalties to settle allegations that they defrauded their clients while engaging in foreign currency trades on their behalf. The banks typically shortchanged their customers by front-running - a process of executing trades for the bank's proprietary trading desk before executing trades on their client's behalf.

They used their knowledge of the client's impending trade to make profits for their bank. The list of banks who have settled include Bank of America, Citi, HSBC and Barclays. The penalties paid by the banks may not be the end of the story - a former HSBC FX trader, Mark Johnson, has been convicted on nine charges of fraud for front-running a $3.5 bln order of Cairn Energy to convert dollars to pounds.

Big banks have come to play a large role both in the physical commodities space as well as the market in commodity derivatives. After Goldman Sachs entered the aluminum business in a big way, it led to an increase in prices.

Full story at http://bit.ly/2xEEtCN

Source: CoinTelegraph

Iranian Government Preparing for Bitcoin Use Inside the Country

Iran’s Deputy Minister of Information and Communication Technology, Amir Hossein Davaee, reportedly said in an interview with Shargh newspaper last week:

"The ministry of communications and information technology has already conducted a number of research studies as part of [its] efforts to prepare the infrastructure to use bitcoin inside the country."

He said that the cryptocurrency has two aspects, economic and infrastructural, adding that adopting it in Iran will end up being in the general interest of the country. “We, as the main centre in Iran dealing with the country’s technology developments, have taken very seriously the issue of preparing the infrastructure for the new currency,” he was quoted saying, noting that:

"Arrangements are being made with the related organizations to put together the infrastructure as early as possible."

Full story at http://bit.ly/2xCYPfr

Source: Bitcoin News

We've seen an 82 percent jump in bitcoin-related jobs, says employment website CEO

Bitcoin-related jobs are the fastest growing category of role on international employment marketplace Freelancer, the company said Wednesday.

With 82 percent growth in the third quarter, work related to cryptocurrency is skyrocketing, the data showed. The company's periodic report tracks top trends in online jobs based on the listings on its Freelancer.com platform.

"People are getting freelancers to design new types of cryptocurrencies," Matt Barrie, CEO of Freelancer, told CNBC. One of the main skills for which companies are looking is the ability to manage an initial coin offering — when a new digital token is first sold to outside speculators in a bid to raise money.

According to Freelancer, employers were also looking for people to create new cryptocurrencies and to write proposal plans for technologies employing blockchain — the data structure pioneered by bitcoin.

Full story at http://cnb.cx/2xGETZ5

Source: CNBC

5 Questions Bitcoin Traders Can't Answer

As a bona fide cryptocurrency skeptic, I'm of two minds on Bitcoin and other cryptos. One, I don't think we know enough about them to invest in them as if they were stocks and bonds. The transparency isn't there.

But I also think that the tide of technology and investors isn't going to be stopped any time soon.

Regulators, of course, are concerned about cryptos. Vehicles are started up every day to invest and speculate in them. According to the Financial Times, the U.K.'s Financial Conduct Authority is eyeing new trading platforms that allow you to bet on crypto movements with as much as 30:1 leverage on derivative contracts linked to Bitcoin.

Where is this all going? As Bitcoin prices blow past $6,000 a share, millions of investors want a piece of the action. Yet there are far too many questions to answer before cryptos become mainstream investments.

Full story at http://bit.ly/2xGFuKx

Source: Forbes

10 Surprising Celeb Bitcoiners

While Bitcoin is not the sleek and sexy plaything of the rich and famous, it certainly is no longer only a tool for the tech-savvy computer whizzes. The mainstream appeal of Bitcoin has seen it spread across different demographics, from retired grandmothers to some of the world’s biggest rappers.

Celebrities have been used to market certain ICOs, as well as be the face of a host of different coins, but many celebrities have chosen to invest their immense wealth into digital currencies.

Full story at http://bit.ly/2xFpcS8

Source: CoinTelegraph

Crypto News: Making Noise: Bitcoin Price Looks Higher as Global Volumes Grow

Bitcoin's rally is showing no signs of abating.

Volumes jumped to two-week highs on Sunday, and remain well below the Oct 13. high and the 2017 peak registered on Sept. 15.

Full story at http://bit.ly/2xEH2V8

Source: CoinDesk

Crypto News: We've seen an 82 percent jump in bitcoin-related jobs, says employment website CEO

Bitcoin-related jobs are the fastest growing category of role on international employment marketplace Freelancer, the company said Wednesday.

Full story at http://cnb.cx/2xGETZ5

Source: CNBC

Crypto News: Does Bitcoin Really Need Wall Street?

Full story at http://bit.ly/2xEEtCN

Source: CoinTelegraph

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Tuesday, October 31, 2017