Joke 1
Autumn leaves
Original post: http://csyd.es/1/8
Joke 2
Birthdays are good for you. The more you have, the longer you live.
Joke 3
Passing by the primate area one day, a zoo attendant happens to notice a chimpanzee sitting on a rock with an open book in either hand, looking first at one and then at the other. Upon closer examination, he identifies the books: the Bible and Darwin's Origin of Species.
Curious, he asks the chimp, "What's with the books?"
The chimp replies, "I'm trying to decide whether I'm my brother's keeper or my keeper's brother."
Joke 4
Q: What did the picture say to the wall?
A: I've got you covered!
Joke 5
A high school student came home one night rather depressed.
"What's the matter, son?" asked his mother.
"Aw", said the boy. "It's my grades. They are all wet."
"What do you mean All wet?"
"You know", he replied. "Below C-level."
Joke 6
During "children's time" in the worship service, the kids came forward and the pastor, wanting to teach about prayer, asked, "How can we talk with God?"
The pastor produced paper and envelope and said, "Maybe we can write God a letter. Does anyone know God's address?" The group said no.
Then the pastor pulled out his cell phone and said, "Maybe we can telephone God. Does anyone know God's phone number?" The response was again negative.
Then the pastor displayed his laptop computer and said, "Maybe we can send God an e-mail!" A little five-year-old enthusiastically said, "Yeah, try www-dot-God-dot-com!"
Joke 7
Two older, successful businessmen met at a resort. One who had recently retired was describing his life, "I get up late in the morning, have a light breakfast and then I lie down on my veranda for a few hours and relax.
In the afternoon I go inside for lunch, have a great salad, fruits and cold fish, then I spend the rest of the afternoon boating or playing golf or tennis ...
When it starts to get dark I have a great dinner with the finest wines. I smoke a Cuban cigar. Then I go lie on my veranda again."
The other gentleman acknowledges that this is a life to be envied. Later he reported the conversation to his wife. She asked, "What's his wife's name?"
Her husband said, "I'm not sure, but I think it's Veranda."
Joke 8
Q: Is there anything I should avoid while recovering from childbirth?
A: Yes, pregnancy.
Toxic People
Original post: http://csyd.es/1/61
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