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Monday, November 13, 2017

Daily Jokes from SydesJokes for 13 Nov 2017

 

Joke 1

Dieting for a month

SydesJokes Blog

Original post: http://csyd.es/1/779


Joke 2

Some people want it to happen, some wish it would happen, others make it happen. - Michael Jordan


Joke 3

A young and foolish pilot wanted to sound cool and show who was boss on the aviation frequencies. It was his first time approaching a field during the night time.

Instead of making any official requests to the tower, he said: "Guess who?"

The controller switched the field lights off and replied: "Guess where!"


Joke 4

Q: What is the ultimate rejection?
A: When you’re masturbating and your hand falls asleep.


Joke 5

A young businessman had just started his own firm. He had just rented a beautiful office and had it furnished with antiques.

Sitting there, he saw a man come into the outer office. Wishing to appear the hot shot, the businessman picked up the phone and started to pretend he had a big deal working.

He threw huge figures around and made giant commitments. Finally he hung up and asked the visitor, "Can I help you?"

Yeah, I've come to activate your phone lines.


Joke 6

Honey, said this husband to his wife, "I invited a friend home for supper."

What? Are you crazy? The house is a mess, I didn't go shopping, all the dishes are dirty, and I don't feel like cooking a fancy meal!

I know all that.

Then, why did you invite a friend for supper?

Because the poor guy is thinking about getting married.


Joke 7

A young polar bear cub approached his mother one day and asked, "Mom, am I a polar bear?"

Of course you are, she replied with a smile.

OK, said the cub, and padded off. Later, he found his dad out by the iceberg.

Dad, am I a polar bear?

Sure you are, son! said his dad, wondering a bit at why his son would ask such a silly thing.

The next day, the cub asked the question again and again.

Are you and mom polar bears? You are? Well, then, does that make me a polar bear? Pure, 100% polar bear? Finally, his parents couldn't stand it any longer. "Son, you're driving us crazy with this question! You are a polar bear! Why do you keep asking?"

The cub looked up and confessed, "Cause I'm FREEZING!"


Joke 8

Q: How do you piss off Winnie the Pooh?
A: By sticking your finger in his honey.


The Power of Love

SydesJokes Blog

Original post: http://csyd.es/1/308


 

 

 

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