Joke 1
You are never too old
Original post: http://csyd.es/1/86
Joke 2
Impotence: Nature's way of saying 'No hard feelings...'
Joke 3
A man entered a bank with a rather large dog on a leash. He asked if it was okay to bring his pet into the building.
The teller said, "Yes, providing he doesn't make a deposit."
Joke 4
Q: Who earns a living by driving his customers away?
A: A taxi driver.
Joke 5
Mrs. Jones called the doctor's office and was met with this response by the secretary, "This is Dr. Whitman's office. What would you like to talk about?"
Mrs. Jones was disturbed by this response and replied sarcastically, "I want to order a hamburger with fries. For goodness sakes, why would I call a doctor if I didn't feel sick? I'm very sick. I need to see the doctor."
Fine, replied the secretary. "I can make an appointment for you. Let me see. Ah, yes, I have an appointment one week from next Friday."
Great, said Mrs. Jones. "I'll have my mortician drop me off then!"
Joke 6
At a dinner party, several of the guests were arguing whether men or women were more trustworthy. "No woman," said one man, scornfully, "can keep a secret."
I don't know about that," huffily answered a woman guest.
I have kept my age a secret since I was twenty-one.
You'll let it out some day, the man insisted.
I hardly think so! responded the lady. "When a woman has kept a secret for twenty-seven years, she can keep it forever."
Joke 7
A Florida senior citizen drove his brand new Corvette convertible out of the dealership. Taking off down the road, he pushed it to 80 mph, enjoying the wind blowing through what little hair he had left.
Amazing, he thought as he flew down I-95, pushing the pedal even more.
Looking in his rear view mirror, he saw a Florida State Trooper, blue lights flashing and siren blaring. He floored it to 100 mph, then 110, then 120. Suddenly he thought, "What am I doing? I'm too old for this!" and pulled over to await the trooper's arrival.
Pulling in behind him, the trooper got out of his vehicle and walked up to the Corvette. He looked at his watch, then said, "Sir, my shift ends in 30 minutes. Today is Friday. If you can give me a new reason for speeding--a reason I've never before heard -- I'll let you go.”
The old gentleman paused then said: "Three years ago, my wife ran off with a Florida State Trooper. I thought you were bringing her back.
Have a good day, Sir, replied the trooper.
Joke 8
Q: What two things can you not have for breakfast?
A: Lunch and dinner.
Socrates
Original post: http://csyd.es/1/88
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