Saturday, October 25, 2014

Jokes for Saturday 25th October 2014

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SydesJokes Facebook Page Posts

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Balloon Tank

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Baltic Bitch Hotel

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Banned From eBay - Penis Enlargement

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Joke # 1

The person who's been there for everyone




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Joke # 2

How come you never hear father-in-law jokes?

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Joke # 3

"How is it I find you sleeping with my daughter?" stormed the outraged father. "I ask you, you little bastard, how is it?"

"Why, just great, sir," replied the calm young man, 'just great!"

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Joke # 4

Q: If one is single and two is a couple and three is a crowd, what is four and five?
A: 9 (5+4)

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Joke # 5

The old guy was on trial for selling drugs, and a neighbor was called as a witness. The prosecutor asked: "Did you ever get any cocaine from the defendant?"

"No, sir," answered the witness.

"Did you ever get any from his wife?"

"No, sir."

"Did you ever get any from his daughter?"

"Excuse me, sir," the witness said, "Are we still talking about cocaine?"

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Joke # 6

This guy and his girlfriend were going at it hot and heavy in the backseat of his car. A knock was heard on the window and there stood a cop. The guy got out, shaking like a leaf. The cop said that he wouldn't arrest him if he could be next.

The guy got back in the car and finished with his girlfriend. When he got out again, he was still shaking like a leaf. The cop said there was no reason to be scared, because he wouldn't arrest him if he could be next.

The guy said 'I'm not afraid that you'll arrest me, it's just that I've never fucked a cop before!"

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Joke # 7

A man was standing on a train platform seeing the train off and he observed someone near him shouting at one of the departing passengers, "Goodbye. Your wife was a great lay! Your wife was a great lay!"

He was stunned. After the train pulled away, he walked over to the man and asked, "Did I hear you correctly? Did you tell that man his wife was a great lay?"

The other man shrugged his shoulders. "It isn't really true," he said, "but I don't want to hurt his feelings."

The recently married bride was perplexed when her husband announced that he had found a new position.

"What's that, honey?"

"We lie back to back."

"But, what kind if position is that?"

"You'll see. Another couple is joining us."

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Joke # 8

Q: What do you get when you cross a parrot and a lion?
A: I don't know, but when it talks you'd better listen.

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SydesJokes Blog Posts

Art on Military Aircraft

http://sydesjokes.blogspot.com/2011/11/art-on-military-aircraft.html

Art With Fingers 2

http://sydesjokes.blogspot.com/2011/11/art-with-fingers-2.html

Guide to Asses

http://sydesjokes.blogspot.com/2011/11/guide-to-asses.html

Billboards You Will Never See 2

http://sydesjokes.blogspot.com/2011/11/billboards-you-will-never-see-2.html

How To Fix Anything

http://sydesjokes.blogspot.com/2011/11/how-to-fix-anything.html

More funny posts --> http://bit.ly/h97b22

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SydesJokes Video Clips

The Correct Way To Answer the Door

http://bit.ly/div0qu

Sheep Crashes Into A Wall

http://bit.ly/bO71hn

Immigration Song

http://bit.ly/bug7zw

Truck vs Bridge #1

http://bit.ly/b6w2A6

Blind Levis

http://bit.ly/d4PkHe


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Friday, October 24, 2014

Jokes for Friday 24th October 2014

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Colin Sydes Facebook
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SydesJokes Flickr
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SydesJokes Instagram
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SydesJokes Tumblr
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Consider the following:

-> 95% of all diets and weight loss programs fail.
-> 8 out of 10 Americans over the age of 25 are overweight.
-> 174 million Americans are overweight or obese.
-> The worldwide number is expected to double by 2030.
-> 25.8 million children and adults in the United States (8.3% of the population) have diabetes.

Source: Centers for Disease Control.

Check how Plexus products can help you lose weight --> http://PlexusSlim.com/ColinSydes

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SydesJokes Facebook Page Posts

Please Like the posts and leave your comments.

Baby Mops

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Bachelor Fridge

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Bacon Condom

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Bad Sex

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Bad Woman

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Check more on Facebook --> http://SydesJokes.com/Facebook

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Joke # 1

A jealous woman




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Joke # 2

The statistics on sanity is that one out of every four persons is suffering from some sort of mental illness. Think of your three best friends -- if they're okay, then it's you.

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Joke # 3

A woman went to see her psychiatrist. "I'm really concerned," she said. "The other day I found my daughter and the boy next door together, naked, examining each other's bodies and giggling."

The psychiatrist smiled. "That's nothing to worry about, it's pretty normal." "Well, I don't know," said the woman,

"It worries me. It worries my daughter's husband, too!"

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Joke # 4

Q:Whats the difference between a tractor and a giraffe?
A:One has hydraulics the other has highbollocks.

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Joke # 5

Cool things about having a beer belly:

* You're less likely to be pestered by annoying sorority girls.

* It doubles as a convenient TV tray for nachos and beer.

* It's a great way to meet cute female cardiologists.

* Extra gravity makes it that much less likely you'll ever be thrown free of the earth into deep space.

* Your bellybutton can store up to eight quarters for the parking meter.

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Joke # 6

The two teenagers were arrested for public lewdness and possession of marijuana when they were found naked, each smoking a joint, sitting on the edge of the fountain in the town square.

The arresting officer told them they were entitled to a phone call, since he was unable to reach either parent.

Some time later, a man entered the station and the sergeant said, "I suppose you're the kids' lawyer."

"Nope," the chap replied. "I'm just here to deliver them a pizza."

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Joke # 7

A Blonde walks by a Travel Agency and notices a sign in the window, "Cruise Special -- $99!" So she goes inside, lays her money on the counter and says, "I'd like the $99 Cruise Special, please."

The Agent grabs her, drags her into the back room, ties her to a large inner tube, then drags her out the back door and downhill to the river, where he pushes her in and sends her floating.

A second Blonde comes by a few minutes later, sees the sign, goes inside, lays her money on the counter, and asks for the $99 Special. She too is tied to an inner tube and sent floating down the river. Somehow drifting into stronger current, she eventually catches up with the first Blonde. They float side by side for a while before the first Blonde asks, "Do they serve 'Refreshments' on this Cruise?"

The second Blonde replies, "They didn't last year...."

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Joke # 8

Q: What kind of band doesn't play music?
A: A highbred.

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SydesJokes Blog Posts

Sarcasm for Dummies

http://sydesjokes.blogspot.com/2011/11/sarcasm-for-dummies.html

English

http://sydesjokes.blogspot.com/2011/11/english.html

Bluetooth and Wi-Fi

http://sydesjokes.blogspot.com/2011/11/bluetooth-and-wi-fi.html

Billboards You Will Never See 3

http://sydesjokes.blogspot.com/2011/11/billboards-you-will-never-see-3.html

Sarcasm

http://sydesjokes.blogspot.com/2011/11/sarcasm.html

More funny posts --> http://bit.ly/h97b22

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SydesJokes Video Clips

Cheers - Can Mormons Send Flowers

http://bit.ly/b5lbhk

Cat Fishing the Hard Way

http://bit.ly/aW8kIR

Red Dwarf Brown Alert

http://bit.ly/cNU7oX

The Perfect Girl

http://bit.ly/9gsjUS

Pulling Car Out of Snow

http://bit.ly/cvFiYq


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