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Monday, January 22, 2018

Gandhi

 

 

 

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Never let your memories be greater than your dreams


Freedom

 

 

 

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Daily Jokes from SydesJokes for 22 Jan 2018

 

Joke 1

Dwight D. Eisenhower

SydesJokes Blog

Original post: http://csyd.es/1/426


Joke 2

There are two educations. One should teach us how to make a living, and the other how to live. - John Adams


Joke 3

A novice gardener who was looking for some advice asked an experienced farmer, "What would be good to plant in an area that gets very little rain, has too much late afternoon sun, has clay soil and lies on a rocky ledge?"

Replied the farmer, "How about a flagpole?".


Joke 4

Q: How many computer programmers does it take to change a light bulb?
A: Are you kidding? That's a hardware problem!


Joke 5

A man came back to the dealer from whom he bought a new car.

I believe you gave me a guarantee with my car, he said.

That's right, sir, the salesman answered. "During the warranty period we will replace anything that breaks."

Fine, I need a new garage door.


Joke 6

Little Johnny is in the park eating candy when an old man comes up to him. The old man says, "Y'know, eating candy is not good for your health."

Little Johnny says, "Oh, yeah? Well, my grandpa lived to 103."

The old man asks, "Well, did he eat candy?"

Little Johnny says, "No, but he knew how to mind his own damn business."


Joke 7

Two Goober hunters were dragging their dead deer down a trail back to their car.

Another hunter approached pulling his along too.

"Hey, I don't want to tell you what to do, but I can tell you that it's much easier if you drag the deer in the other direction. Then the antlers won't dig into the ground."

After the third hunter left, the two decided to try it.

A little while later one hunter said to the other, "You know, that guy was right. This is a lot easier!"

"Yeah," the other added, "but we're getting farther away from the truck!"


Joke 8

Q: How does a spoiled rich girl change a lightbulb?
A: She says, "Daddy, I want a new apartment."


Denis Waitley

SydesJokes Blog

Original post: http://csyd.es/1/427


 

 

 

Donation:
If you appreciate the things I share, consider making a contribution
no matter how small via PayPal or with TransferWise (EUR).
If you use Waves my wallet address is: 3PPeCnXEDAiRVzvsuGRycrNDHhWgDq68uVt
If you use Litecoin my wallet address is: LQG2B5roRxPwVj4jGVQpXQV1xZM3shDA3R

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Sunday, January 21, 2018

Daily Jokes from SydesJokes for 21 Jan 2018

 

Joke 1

Real change

SydesJokes Blog

Original post: http://csyd.es/1/785


Joke 2

If you understand, things are just as they are; if you do not understand, things are just as they are. - Zen Proverb


Joke 3

Several women, each trying to one-up the other, appeared in court, each accusing the others of causing the trouble they were having in the apartment building where they lived.

The judge, with Solomon-like wisdom decreed, "Okay, I'm ready to hear the evidence...I'll hear the oldest first."

The case was dismissed for lack of testimony.


Joke 4

Q: How do you get holy water?
A: Boil the hell out of it.


Joke 5

A couple was sitting in the park.

Two dogs that were romping on the grass started to lick each other's faces.

The girl said, "They look like they're kissing."

The boy replied. "If you wouldn't mind, I think I'd like to give that a try."

The girl said, "I don't mind, but I'd be careful. The big white dog looks like it could be dangerous."


Joke 6

A housewife is at home when she suddenly hears a knock on the door.

When she opens the door a man asks her if she has a vagina, the woman slams the door in disbelief of what a stranger has just asked her.

The same thing happens three consecutive days and the woman decides to tells her husband.

The husband says to the wife; "Tomorrow I am not going to work and when the man asks if you have a vagina say 'yes' and I will be hiding behind the door."

The next day the same man comes again and when the woman opens the door he asks, "Do you have vagina?"

The woman says, Yes."

The man then responds, Good! Then please tell your husband to stop screwing my wife!"


Joke 7

A mother was determined to break through the generation gap and have a meaningful conversation with her pre-teen about her first day back at school.

The mother asked, "Did you have a good day?"

The daughter responded with, "Yeah."

Trying to prod a more detailed response, the mother inquired, "Do you like school this year?"

The daughter said, "Well, sort of."

Again pressing the point, the determined mom asked, "Well, how much did you like it?"

As a sign of the way smart phones have changed the way young people think, the daughter replied, "I like it. But, I only like it about two bars."


Joke 8

Q: How do you get a frog off the back window of your car?
A: Use the rear defrogger.


Be silent

SydesJokes Blog

Original post: http://csyd.es/1/786


 

 

 

Donation:
If you appreciate the things I share, consider making a contribution
no matter how small via PayPal or with TransferWise (EUR).
If you use Waves my wallet address is: 3PPeCnXEDAiRVzvsuGRycrNDHhWgDq68uVt
If you use Litecoin my wallet address is: LQG2B5roRxPwVj4jGVQpXQV1xZM3shDA3R

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