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Tuesday, April 29, 2014

When you need to take the garbage out in Canada



You can learn great things from your mistakes



Organizational Charts

Jokes for Tuesday 29th April 2014

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Soup of the Day

https://www.facebook.com/photo.php?fbid=580935335272366

Squeeze from the bottom

https://www.facebook.com/photo.php?fbid=584968848202348

Stool Sample

https://www.facebook.com/photo.php?fbid=592255387473694

Stop Deforestation

https://www.facebook.com/photo.php?fbid=586015081431058

Stupid People

https://www.facebook.com/photo.php?fbid=592270664138833

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Joke # 1

Word On the Street




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Joke # 2

Moderation is good, but boring.

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Joke # 3

Liz: I get so nervous and frightened during driving tests!

Doctor: Don't worry about it. You'll pass eventually.

Liz: I'm the examiner!

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Joke # 4

Q: Why does the Easter Bunny have a shiny nose?
A: His powder puff is on the wrong end.

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Joke # 5

How does Ruth like being pregnant?" Danny asked his friend Ryan. "Oh, she's not pregnant,"

Ryan replied, "she's expecting."

"What's the difference?" Danny pressed.

"Well, Ryan explained, "When I come home from work, she's expecting me to cook dinner, she's expecting me to do the housework, she's expecting me to rub her feet.

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Joke # 6

One day Danny was doing his homework. He was up to spelling and he needed to spell 'harassment'. His teacher told him to have a parent recite the words so they can practice writing it, so Danny looks up to his mother and says, "Mom, how do you spell 'harassment'?"

His mother replies, "You know I can't tell you. Just sound it out."

With that Danny wrote down on the paper. The next day at school Danny's teacher calls him to the front of the class and asks him to use 'harassment' in a sentence. Danny holds his paper up to his face and looks down at number 10.

"Her ass meant so much to me."

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Joke # 7

At a Senior Citizen's luncheon, an elderly gentleman and an elderly lady struck up a conversation and discovered that they both loved to fish. Since both of them were widowed, they decided to go fishing together the next day.

The gentleman picked the lady up, and they headed to the river to his fishing boat and started out on their adventure.

They were riding down the river when there was a fork in the river, and the gentleman asked the lady, "Do you want to go up or down?"

All of a sudden the lady stripped off her shirt and pants and made mad passionate love to the man right there in the boat! When they finished, the man couldn't believe what had just happened, but he had just experienced the best sex that he'd had in years.

They fished for a while and continued on down the river, when soon they came upon another fork in the river. He again asked the lady, "Up or down?"

There she went again, stripped off her clothes, and made wild passionate love to him again.

This really impressed the elderly gentleman, so he asked her to go fishing again the next day.

She said yes, and there they were the next day, riding in the boat when they came upon the fork in the river, and the elderly gentleman asked, "Up or down?" The woman replied, "Down."

A little puzzled and disappointed, the gentleman guided the boat down the river when he came upon another fork in the river and he asked the lady, "Up or down?" She replied "Up."

This really confused the gentleman, so he asked, "What's the deal? Yesterday every time I asked you if you wanted to go up or down, you made mad passionate love to me. Now today, nothing!"

She replied, "Well yesterday I wasn't wearing my hearing aid and I thought my choices were fuck or drown."

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Joke # 8

Q: Why was Cinderella thrown off the basketball team?
A: She ran away from the ball.

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SydesJokes Blog Posts

Nokia 3310 Battering Ram

http://sydesjokes.blogspot.com/2013/02/nokia-3310-battering-ram.html

Weird Self-Esteem Issue

http://sydesjokes.blogspot.com/2013/02/weird-self-esteem-issue.html

Life Was Much Easier

http://sydesjokes.blogspot.com/2013/02/life-was-much-easier.html

England brought to knees by snow

http://sydesjokes.blogspot.com/2013/02/england-brought-to-knees-by-snow.html

Use Your Imagination

http://sydesjokes.blogspot.com/2013/02/use-your-imagination.html

More funny posts --> http://bit.ly/h97b22

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SydesJokes Video Clips

Wife School

http://bit.ly/aY50Sz

Blonde Antelope

http://bit.ly/bGFRqu

Iranian Police Women

http://bit.ly/dx8LSs

Just Drive

http://bit.ly/d0gP6l

VW Winter Advert

http://bit.ly/az1uXd

More video clips --> http://bit.ly/Vk7wDY

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Monday, April 28, 2014

Jokes for Monday 28th April 2014

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SydesJokes Home Page (Site now an archive no longer updated)
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SydesJokes Facebook Page Posts

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Slippery When Wet

https://www.facebook.com/photo.php?fbid=586211458078087

Slut

https://www.facebook.com/photo.php?fbid=583211848378048

Sluts

https://www.facebook.com/photo.php?fbid=584805531552013

Someone didn't think this baby outfit all the way through

https://www.facebook.com/photo.php?fbid=580977495268150

Sometimes

https://www.facebook.com/photo.php?fbid=583223025043597

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Joke # 1

Men: Can You See the Plane




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Joke # 2

CANNIBAL: Someone who is fed up with people.

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Joke # 3

The parents were very disappointed in the grades that their son brought home.

"The only consolation I can find in these awful grades, "lamented the father, "is that I know he never cheated during his exams."

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Joke # 4

Q: What do you call a calf after it's six months old?
A: Seven months old.

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Joke # 5

After buying her kids a pet hamster, after they promised they would take care of it, mom, as usual, ended up with the responsibility. One evening, exasperated, she asked them, "How many times do you think that hamster would have died if I hadn't looked after it?"

After a moment, her five-year-old son replied quizzically, "Uh, once?"

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Joke # 6

Jack left for a two-day business trip to Chicago. He was only a few blocks away from his house when he realized he'd left his plane ticket on top of his dresser.

He turned around and headed back to the house. He quietly entered the door, walked into the kitchen. He saw his wife washing the breakfast dishes, wearing her skimpiest negligee.

She looked so good that he quietly tiptoed up behind her, reached out, and squeezed her left tit.

"Just leave one quart of milk," she said. "Jack won't be here for breakfast tomorrow."

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Joke # 7

A priest, a Pentecostal preacher and a Rabbi all served as chaplains to the students of the University of Alabama in Tuscaloosa . They would get together two or three times a week for coffee and to talk shop. One day, someone made the comment that preaching to people isn't really all that hard. A real challenge would be to preach to a bear. One thing led to another and they decided to do an experiment. They would all go up to the Smokies, find a bear, preach to it, and attempt to convert it.

Seven days later, they're all together to discuss the experience. Father Flannery, who has his arm in a sling, is on crutches, and has various bandages on his body and limbs, went first. 'Well,' he said, 'I went into the woods to find me a bear. And when I found him I began to read to him from the Catechism. Well, that bear wanted nothing to do with me and began to slap me around. So, I quickly grabbed my holy water, sprinkled him and, Holy Mary Mother of God, he became as gentle a lamb. The bishop is coming out next week to give him first communion and confirmation.'

Reverend Billy Bob spoke next. He was in a wheelchair, with an arm and both legs in casts, and an IV drip. In his best fire and brimstone oratory he claimed, 'WELL brothers, you KNOW that WE don't sprinkle! I went out and I FOUND me a bear. And then I began to read to my bear from God's HOLY WORD! But that bear wanted nothing to do with me. So I took HOLD of him and we began to wr estle. We wrestled down one hill, UP another and DOWN another until we came to a creek. So right quick-like, I DUNKED him and BAPTIZED his hairy soul. And just like you said, he became as gentle as a lamb. We spent the rest of the day praising Jesus.'

They both looked down at the rabbi, who was lying in a hospital bed. He was in a body cast and traction with IV's and monitors running in and out of him. He was in bad shape. The rabbi looks up and says,

"Looking back on it, circumcision may not have been the best way to start"

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Joke # 8

Q: What do you call a guy who's born in Columbus, grows up in Cleveland, and then dies in Cincinnati?
A: Dead.

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SydesJokes Blog Posts

What NOT to Give Her for Valentine's Day

http://sydesjokes.blogspot.com/2013/02/what-not-to-give-her-for-valentines-day.html

Valentine's Day

http://sydesjokes.blogspot.com/2013/02/valentines-day.html

Why isn't every plug made like this

http://sydesjokes.blogspot.com/2013/02/why-isnt-every-plug-made-like-this.html

Roses are Red

http://sydesjokes.blogspot.com/2013/02/roses-are-red.html

Your Diaper is Full

http://sydesjokes.blogspot.com/2013/02/your-diaper-is-full.html

More funny posts --> http://bit.ly/h97b22

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SydesJokes Video Clips

How to Get Rid of A One-night Stand

http://bit.ly/ahEhop

BT Talk Talk

http://bit.ly/aL40HL

Romantic Men - 3 Short Video Clips

http://bit.ly/oK8F3I

Ice Sculpture

http://bit.ly/9T8f8l

Change

http://bit.ly/9OX5fd

More video clips --> http://bit.ly/Vk7wDY

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Sunday, April 27, 2014

Nokia Drill



Paul Coelho Quote



Redneck Boating



Pistol Grip Door Knobs



Jokes for Sunday 27th April 2014

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SydesJokes Home Page (Site now an archive no longer updated)
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SydesJokes Facebook Page Posts

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Sex Maniacs Eye Test

https://www.facebook.com/photo.php?fbid=588139201218646

Sexy Wine Holder

https://www.facebook.com/photo.php?fbid=586203978078835

Shorts

https://www.facebook.com/photo.php?fbid=584823038216929

Singapre Litter Free

https://www.facebook.com/photo.php?fbid=592147290817837

Size Does Matter

https://www.facebook.com/photo.php?fbid=592170597482173

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Joke # 1

Bookstore Name




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Joke # 2

There are no new sins; the old ones just get more publicity.

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Joke # 3

A family of skunks was trapped in a thicket, surrounded by a pack of hungry wolves that were edging even closer.

The mother skunk calmly instructed her young, "Quickly, children, let's put our heads together!"

After they obeyed, forming a circle, she continued, "Now -- let us spray!"

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Joke # 4

Q: What did the rug say to the floor?
A: Don't move, I've got you covered.

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Joke # 5


Over dinner, Jill said to John, "I met this horrible and rude man downtown this morning, and right away I knew he was a troublemaker. He started to insult me; he used really bad language; he even threatened me!"

"How did you meet this fellow?" John asked, very concerned.

Jill said, "Well, we met by accident. I hit him with the car."

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Joke # 6

For centuries, Hindu women have worn a dot on their foreheads. Most of us have naively thought this was connected with tradition or religion, but the Indian Embassy in Washington, D.C. , has recently revealed the true story.

When a Hindu woman gets married, she brings a dowry into the union. On her wedding night, the husband scratches off the dot to see whether he's won a convenience store, a gas station, a donut shop, a Taxi cab or a motel in America . If nothing is there, he must remain in India to answer telephones and provide us with technical support.

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Joke # 7

A woman wants the inside of her house painted and she calls a contractor in to help her. They wander around the house, and she points out the colors she wants.

She says, "Now, in the living room, I'd like to have a neutral beige, very soft and warm." The contractor nods, pulls out his pad of paper and writes on it. Then he goes to the window, leans out and yells, "Green side up!"

The woman is most perplexed but she lets it slide. They wander into the next room. She says, "In the dining room I'd like a light white, not stark, but very bright and airy." The contractor nods, pulls out his pad of paper and writes on it. Then he goes to the window, leans out, and yells "Green side up"!

The woman is even more perplexed but still lets it slide. They wander further into the next room. She says, "In the bedroom, I'd like blue. Restful, peaceful, cool blue." The contractor nods, pulls out his pad of paper and writes on it. Then once more he goes to the window, leans out and yells "Green side up"!

This is too much. The woman has to ask. So she says, "Every time I tell you a color, you write it down, but then you yell out the window 'Green side up.' What on earth does that mean?" The contractor shakes his head and says, "I have four Texans laying sod across the street."

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Joke # 8

Q: What do bees do with their honey?
A: They cell it.

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SydesJokes Blog Posts

It's Called Metal

http://sydesjokes.blogspot.com/2013/02/its-called-metal.html

Trying to get a job

http://sydesjokes.blogspot.com/2013/02/trying-to-get-job.html

Everybody is a Genius

http://sydesjokes.blogspot.com/2013/02/everybody-is-genius.html

Valentine One-Liners

http://sydesjokes.blogspot.com/2013/02/valentine-one-liners.html

Be My Valentine

http://sydesjokes.blogspot.com/2013/02/be-my-valentine.html

More funny posts --> http://bit.ly/h97b22

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SydesJokes Video Clips

Clouds

http://bit.ly/pVTrrq

Mother in Law

http://bit.ly/aRVrz6

Two Cute Girls in Car

http://bit.ly/cC0Pfh

No Shit - Sure Lock

http://bit.ly/asiuxk

Octopus Kills Shark

http://bit.ly/cTiOA2

More video clips --> http://bit.ly/Vk7wDY

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Saturday, April 26, 2014

Jokes for Saturday 26th April 2014

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SydesJokes Facebook Page Posts

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Schitt Family Tree

https://www.facebook.com/photo.php?fbid=585361304829769

Science Teachers

https://www.facebook.com/photo.php?fbid=584830074882892

Secret Bunker

https://www.facebook.com/photo.php?fbid=587971184568781

Seeing a spider

https://www.facebook.com/photo.php?fbid=580757275290172

Send A Letter

https://www.facebook.com/photo.php?fbid=587051821327384

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Joke # 1

Tech Support




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Joke # 2

"Has there been any insanity in your family?". "Yes, doctor. My husband thinks he's the boss."

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Joke # 3

Jill: What happened to you and that last boyfriend?

Mary Well, you know how men are supposed to be hunters, and women are supposed to be gatherers?

Jill: Yeah, I know about that.

Mary: Well, he couldn't hunt enough money to keep up with my gathering.

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Joke # 4

Q: What did the mother broom say to the baby broom?
A: It's time to go to sweep.

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Joke # 5

A young woman was taking an afternoon nap. After she woke up, she told her husband, "I just dreamt that you gave me a pearl necklace for Valentine's Day. What do you think it means?"

"You shall know tonight", he said.

That evening, the man came home with a small package and gave it to his wife.

Delighted, she opened it. She found a book entitled "The Meaning of Dreams".

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Joke # 6

Chow looks wonderful," I told the mess sergeant, a large, intimidating man. "I'd love seconds."

"You'll get the same as everyone else," he growled as he chucked food on my tray. "Now move it!"

After finishing the edible portion of my meal, I dumped the rest in the garbage, accidentally tossing out my silverware. While leaning into the trash can to look for my knife and fork, I felt a tap on my shoulder.

It was the mess sergeant. "It's all right, son," he said. "You can grab seconds."

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Joke # 7

An Amish woman and her daughter were riding in an old buggy one cold blustery day.

The daughter said to her mother, "My hands are freezing cold."

The mother replied, "Put them between your legs. Your body heat will warm them up."

So the daughter did and her hands warmed up.

The next day the daughter was riding with her boyfriend and the boyfriend said "My hands are freezing cold."

The girl said "Put them between my legs, the warmth of my body will warm them up".

So he did and warmed his hands.

The following day the boyfriend was again in the buggy with the daughter.

He said "My nose is cold."

The girl replied "Put it between my legs, the warmth of my body will warm it up."

So he did and his nose began to get warm.

He lifted his head up from between the girls legs and said "Do you know what? I think my penis is frozen solid"

The following day the daughter was driving in the buggy with her mother, and she says to her mother, "Have you ever heard of a penis?"

Slightly concerned the mother said, "Why, yes. Why do you ask?"

The daughter replies, "Well they make one hell of a mess when they defrost, don't they?"

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Joke # 8

Q: What did the necktie say to the hat?
A: You go on ahead. I'll hang around for a while.

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SydesJokes Blog Posts

Australian's Don't Have Sex

http://sydesjokes.blogspot.com/2013/02/australians-dont-have-sex.html

Why The Fuck

http://sydesjokes.blogspot.com/2013/02/why-fuck.html

Police Quotes

http://sydesjokes.blogspot.com/2013/02/police-quotes.html

The Annoying Moment

http://sydesjokes.blogspot.com/2013/02/the-annoying-moment.html

Overweight Luggage Fees

http://sydesjokes.blogspot.com/2013/02/overweight-luggage-fees.html

More funny posts --> http://bit.ly/h97b22

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SydesJokes Video Clips

Dustin Hoffman - The Flea Takes A Holiday

http://bit.ly/dnsqja

My New Fishing Boat

http://bit.ly/9UAyvT

Rubber Boy

http://bit.ly/bGCDME

Alaska Air Banjo

http://bit.ly/bYVG8H

How To Undress Fast

http://bit.ly/dwu5gJ

More video clips --> http://bit.ly/Vk7wDY

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Friday, April 25, 2014

Jokes for Friday 25th April 2014

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SydesJokes Home Page (Site now an archive no longer updated)
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SydesJokes Facebook Page Posts

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Robert F. Kennedy Quote

https://www.facebook.com/photo.php?fbid=592104304155469

Royal Fart

https://www.facebook.com/photo.php?fbid=586362131396353

Samuel L Jackson

https://www.facebook.com/photo.php?fbid=592376210794945

Sauna Thermometer

https://www.facebook.com/photo.php?fbid=592138644152035

Saying yes to Happinness

https://www.facebook.com/photo.php?fbid=583790074986892

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Joke # 1

Buttons #11




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Joke # 2

SECRET: Something you tell to one person at a time.

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Joke # 3

A guy came home from work, "Honey, where are you?"

"I'm upstairs douching," his wife answered.

"I told you never to talk like that!" he yelled.

"What do you want," she called out, "good grammar or good taste?"

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Joke # 4

Q: What did one elevator say to the other?
A: I think I'm coming down with something!

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Joke # 5

Women always say some snide little comments when they catch a guy looking at a cute girl. My wife caught me last week. She said, "You look like a kid in a candy store!"

Thank God I'm witty, I came right back with, "Yeah, well, I'm married now so, I'm a kid with diabetes in a candy store."

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Joke # 6

The city slicker was spending some time with his country cousins. The first morning the farmer said," We need some help today. I'd sure appreciate it if you could take the bull to pasture three to breed with the cow there." The city slicker agreed. Six hours after, he staggered back to the farmhouse, his clothing all torn and disheveled.

The farmer took a look, then asked, "The bull give you a problem?"

"Hell, no. the bull was eager and raring to go." "

Then why did it take you all day?"

"Because," the city slicker replied, "The cow fought me for hours before she'd roll over on her back."

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Joke # 7

An unemployed young man saw a Help Wanted sign outside a large convention center. He went in an applied for the job.

"We have a major business convention tomorrow - some of the most important executives in the world will be coming! I need someone who will take care of security, check the invitations, give directions, etc. You will stand at the front door. Can you do it?" said the manager.

"Oh, YES SIR!" said the young man.

The following night the manager gave final instructions.

"THIS IS YOUR JOB DESCRIPTION AND A LIST OF YOUR DUTIES! You need to be paying attention! I need your full co- operation! You HAVE to do this job correctly! I have put these directions on this paper!" he said, handing it to the young man.

"Remember! The guests remain on the convention floor! The rest of the center is being used! And keep things clean! And the floor is slippery! Be careful! And you are SECURITY! So keep order!"

"Yes, SIR!" said the idiot enthusiastically.

An hour later, the convention was going well and the manager was greeting the executives.

Then he heard something strange. He went outside and his mouth dropped open in shock. He saw a very distinguished gentleman, an impeccably dressed, hand- some and dignified city executive in a $3,000 navy blue pin-striped business suit, carefully knotted red silk tie, starched white shirt, hundred dollar haircut and silver cuff links. However, this corporate executive was barefoot! In addition, he was down on all fours and cleaning the floor with a scrub brush!

The idiot, now the security guard and greeter, was yelling orders and in one hand he held a pair of highly polished Italian leather loafers. In the other he held a pair of black silk business socks.

"Please! This is an Armani suit! It's getting WET!" begged the executive. "And when can I put my shoes and socks back on?"

"No questions, and get to work!" snapped the idiot, and slapped the soles of the executive's bare feet.

The executive shuddered.

The manager ran over to the businessman and helped him up.

The executive's face was beet red with anger and humiliation.

"You will be SUED! This is an outrage! He pushed me down and pulled these right off my feet! Give me those! He told me to start scrubbing or he would use his gun!" yelled the executive, and he grabbed his shiny expensive shoes and socks from the young man.

"What are you doing?!" shouted the manager to the idiot, in shock. "How dare you?!"

The idiot looked bewildered.

"But I'm just following directions, sir! You said: Keep things clean! Keep order!"

The manager yelled: "He was BAREFOOT on ALL FOURS and wearing an ARMANI SUIT!"

The idiot said: "But it says right here: 'KEEP GUESTS ON THE FLOOR AT ALL TIMES! NO EXCEPTIONS!"

The manager groaned. "But what about his SHOES? Why did you take them away from him? Are you crazy?

The idiot pointed at his job description: "NO LOAFERS WILL BE TOLERATED!"

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Joke # 8

Q: What did one magnet say to the other?
A: I find you very attractive.

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SydesJokes Blog Posts

That doesn't look like a fish

http://sydesjokes.blogspot.com/2013/02/that-doesnt-look-like-fish.html

Are you mocking me

http://sydesjokes.blogspot.com/2013/02/are-you-mocking-me.html

Alphabits

http://sydesjokes.blogspot.com/2013/02/alphabits.html

Human Anatomy According to Quentin Tarantino

http://sydesjokes.blogspot.com/2013/02/human-anatomy-according-to-quentin.html

What is multitasking

http://sydesjokes.blogspot.com/2013/02/what-is-multitasking.html

More funny posts --> http://bit.ly/h97b22

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SydesJokes Video Clips

Camouflage

http://bit.ly/9IJgQL

Loud Mobile

http://bit.ly/9WkZYT

Four Trunk Monkey Clips

http://bit.ly/d6plbt

Pussy Pole Dancing

http://bit.ly/97Yw3f

Parental Porn Blocker

http://bit.ly/9en64v

More video clips --> http://bit.ly/Vk7wDY

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Thursday, April 24, 2014

Jokes for Thursday 24th April 2014

SydesJokes Blog
http://SydesJokes.blogspot.com/

SydesJokes Facebook Page
http://SydesJokes.com/Facebook

SydesJokes Twitter
http://twitter.com/SydesJokes

SydesJokes Flickr Photostream
http://flickr.com/photos/SydesJokes/

SydesJokes Home Page (Site now an archive no longer updated)
http://www.SydesJokes.com/index2.html

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SydesJokes Facebook Page Posts

Please Like the posts and leave your comments.

Raise Your Hand

https://www.facebook.com/photo.php?fbid=588125881219978

Read It Backwards

https://www.facebook.com/photo.php?fbid=591873487511884

Relax

https://www.facebook.com/photo.php?fbid=584537178245515

Republican Logic

https://www.facebook.com/photo.php?fbid=584600131572553

Road Barrier

https://www.facebook.com/photo.php?fbid=592091280823438

Check more on Facebook --> http://SydesJokes.com/Facebook

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Joke # 1

Motivational Poster #716




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Joke # 2

Ever hear of a gruntled postal worker?

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Joke # 3

Paul and The Old Professor are at the bar and talking over a drink. T.O.P. complained, "My walking stick hurt me badly last night."

"That's impossible." replies Paul. "How can a walking stick hurt you?"

"My wife hit me over the head with it when I came home late...and a bit drunk, too!"

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Joke # 4

Q: What clothes does a house wear?
A: Address.

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Joke # 5

I was in my ninth month of pregnancy and feeling very uncomfortable. On top of everything, my pleas for sympathy seemed to go unnoticed by my husband.

One day I told him, "I hope in your next life you get to be pregnant!"

He replied, "I hope in your next life you get to be married to someone who's pregnant!"

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Joke # 6

Stupidity is becoming more and more visible in society today, partly because communications technology is bringing examples to us at an ever faster pace, and partly because there's more freakin' stupid people around than ever before....

Now don't get me wrong.... it's not like I think there should be capital punishment for stupidity, but to make things easier, why don't we just take the safety labels off of everything and let the problem solve itself?

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Joke # 7

It was Friday, and four nuns went to the priest at the local Catholic church to ask for the weekend off. They argued back and forth for a few minutes. Finally the priest agreed to let them leave the convent for the weekend. "However", he said, "as soon as you get back Monday morning I want you to confess to me what you did over the weekend." The four nuns agree, and run off.

Monday comes, and the four nuns return. The first nun goes to the priest and says, "Forgive me, Father, for I have sinned." The priest asks, "What did you do, Sister?" She replies, "I watched an R-rated movie." The priest looks up at heaven for a few seconds, then replies, "You are forgiven. Go and drink the holy water." The first nun leaves, and the fourth nun begins to chuckle quietly under her breath.

The second nun then goes up to the priest and says, "Forgive me, Father, for I have sinned." The priest replies, "OK, what happened?" She says, "I was driving my brother's car down the street in front of his house, and I hit a neighbor's dog and killed it." The priest looks up to heaven for half a minute, then says, "You are forgiven. Go and drink the holy water." The second nun goes out. By this time, the fourth nun is laughing quite audibly.

Then the third nun walks to the priest and says, "Forgive me, Father, for I have sinned." The priest asks, "Out with it. What did you do?" She says, "Last night, I ran naked up and down Main Street." The priest looks up at heaven for a full five minutes before responding, "God forgives you. Go and drink the holy water." She leaves.

The fourth nun falls on the floor, laughing so hard tears run down her cheeks. The priest asks her, "OK. What did you do that was so darn funny?" The fourth nun replies, "I peed in the holy water..."

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Joke # 8

Q: What country makes you shiver?
A: Chile.

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SydesJokes Blog Posts

The Gym

http://sydesjokes.blogspot.com/2013/02/the-gym.html

Welcome Mat

http://sydesjokes.blogspot.com/2013/02/welcome-mat.html

The wit and the wisdom of Homer J. Simpson

http://sydesjokes.blogspot.com/2013/02/the-wit-and-wisdom-of-homer-j-simpson.html

Your Happiness

http://sydesjokes.blogspot.com/2013/02/your-happiness.html

Perspective is everything

http://sydesjokes.blogspot.com/2013/02/perspective-is-everything.html

More funny posts --> http://bit.ly/h97b22

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SydesJokes Video Clips

Clever Squirrel

http://bit.ly/au12XQ

Nail Gun Arstist

http://bit.ly/dAERx3

Budweiser - Pole

http://bit.ly/bHNAWp

Is This the Way to Armadillo - Dutch Version

http://bit.ly/bnNIND

Sleeky Shampoo

http://bit.ly/a7RVVQ

More video clips --> http://bit.ly/Vk7wDY

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Wednesday, April 23, 2014

Jokes for Wednesday 23rd April 2014

SydesJokes Blog
http://SydesJokes.blogspot.com/

SydesJokes Facebook Page
http://SydesJokes.com/Facebook

SydesJokes Twitter
http://twitter.com/SydesJokes

SydesJokes Flickr Photostream
http://flickr.com/photos/SydesJokes/

SydesJokes Home Page (Site now an archive no longer updated)
http://www.SydesJokes.com/index2.html

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SydesJokes Facebook Page Posts

Please Like the posts and leave your comments.

Post-it

https://www.facebook.com/photo.php?fbid=591829810849585

Problems

https://www.facebook.com/photo.php?fbid=581039951928571

Promises

https://www.facebook.com/photo.php?fbid=583078361724730

Pull my hair

https://www.facebook.com/photo.php?fbid=583119365053963

Quit Smoking Courses

https://www.facebook.com/photo.php?fbid=584518538247379

Check more on Facebook --> http://SydesJokes.com/Facebook

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Joke # 1

Your Friendship




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Joke # 2

If you take an Oriental person and spin him around several times, does he become disoriented?

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Joke # 3

Judge Judy to prostitute : 'So when did you realize you were raped?'

Prostitute, wiping away tears: 'When the check bounced.'

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Joke # 4

Q: What bone will a dog never eat?
A: A trombone.

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Joke # 5

Farmer Petrovich is whipping and slapping his sheep when the local minister comes walking around the barn. The minister says, "My, Farmer Petrovich, you're certainly giving that sheep a beating. You wouldn't do that to your wife, would you?"

The farmer says, "I would if she farted and jumped side-ways every time I tried to mount her!"

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Joke # 6

The middle aged secretary had never been married and had had enough of work, as well as the single life. It was no secret that she was looking to get married.

As she came back from her lunch hour with another bag from the drug store, a co-worker said, "In the past 3 weeks you've bought enough birth control pills to last a year, lots of vaginal foam, flavored douches, several diaphragms and Lord knows how many condoms. And you don't even have a boyfriend. Whom are you trying to seduce?"

She smiled slyly and replied, "The Druggist, silly."

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Joke # 7

A lawyer runs a stop sign and gets pulled over by a sheriff's deputy. He thinks that he is smarter than the deputy because he is a lawyer from New York and is certain that he has a better education then any cop from Houston, Texas. He decides to prove this to himself and have some fun at the Texas deputy's expense.

The deputy says, "License and registration, please."

"What for?" says the lawyer.

The deputy says, "You didn't come to a complete stop at the stop sign."

Then the lawyer says, "I slowed down, and no one was coming."

"You still didn't come to a complete stop," says the deputy. "License and registration, please."

The lawyer says, "What's the difference?"

"The difference is you have to come to complete stop, that's the law. License and registration, please!" the Deputy says.

Lawyer says, "If you can show me the legal difference between slow down and stop, I'll give you my license and registration; and you give me the ticket. If not, you let me go and don't give me the ticket."

"That sounds fair. Please exit your vehicle, sir," the deputy says.

At this point, the deputy takes out his nightstick and starts beating the daylights out of the lawyer and says,"Do you want me to stop, or just slow down?"

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Joke # 8

Q: What can you hold without ever touching it?
A: A conversation.

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SydesJokes Blog Posts

New Punctuation Marks

http://sydesjokes.blogspot.com/2013/02/new-punctuation-marks.html

Please go away grandma I'm trying to work here

http://sydesjokes.blogspot.com/2013/02/please-go-away-grandma-im-trying-to.html

Squirter

http://sydesjokes.blogspot.com/2013/02/squirter.html

Excellence is not an act but a habit

http://sydesjokes.blogspot.com/2013/02/excellence-is-not-act-but-habit.html

Sarcastic friend

http://sydesjokes.blogspot.com/2013/02/sarcastic-friend.html

More funny posts --> http://bit.ly/h97b22

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SydesJokes Video Clips

Budweiser - Lobster

http://bit.ly/bBjoec

Santa Brawl

http://bit.ly/d0RJAH

Cement

http://bit.ly/99Vdvm

Cat Herding

http://bit.ly/b3As1w

Great Invention

http://bit.ly/jnF18O

More video clips --> http://bit.ly/Vk7wDY

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Tuesday, April 22, 2014

Jokes for Tuesday 22nd April 2014

SydesJokes Blog
http://SydesJokes.blogspot.com/

SydesJokes Facebook Page
http://SydesJokes.com/Facebook

SydesJokes Twitter
http://twitter.com/SydesJokes

SydesJokes Flickr Photostream
http://flickr.com/photos/SydesJokes/

SydesJokes Home Page (Site now an archive no longer updated)
http://www.SydesJokes.com/index2.html

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SydesJokes Facebook Page Posts

Please Like the posts and leave your comments.

Pain in the Ass

https://www.facebook.com/photo.php?fbid=591772917521941

Peppermint Peckers

https://www.facebook.com/photo.php?fbid=587033967995836

Perfect Job Ad

https://www.facebook.com/photo.php?fbid=580673218631911

Phone Evolution

https://www.facebook.com/photo.php?fbid=591816574184242

Planning a party

https://www.facebook.com/photo.php?fbid=584491324916767

Check more on Facebook --> http://SydesJokes.com/Facebook

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Joke # 1

Motivational Poster #175




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Joke # 2

99 percent of lawyers give the rest a bad name.

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Joke # 3

Two soldiers were having a chat during their free time.

First Soldier: Why did you join the army?

Second Soldier: I didn't have a wife and I loved war. So I joined. How about you? Why did you join the army?

First Soldier: I had a wife and I loved peace. So I joined.

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Joke # 4

Q: If a long dress is evening wear, what is a suit of armor?
A: Silverware.

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Joke # 5

The young novice nun soon realized that the absence of sex in the convent was a problem. She confessed to Mother Superior that it was unhealthy and she was rest- less.

"Comfort yourself with a candle," she was advised.

"I've tried that," she said, "But you get tired of the same thing wick in and wick out."

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Joke # 6

Bernie and Esther were not the most religious Jews and in fact they really only went to Temple once a year. As they were leaving the Temple, the Rabbi said, "Bernie, it sure would be nice to see you and Esther here more than once a year!"

"I know," replied Bernie, "but at least we keep the Ten Commandments."

"That's great," the Rabbi said. "I'm glad to hear that you keep the Commandments."

"Yep," Bernie said proudly, "Esther keeps six of them and I keep the other four."

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Joke # 7

An elderly couple was having dinner one evening when the husband reached across the table, took his wife's hand in his and said, "Martha, soon we will be married 50 years, and there's something I have to know. In all of these 50 years, have you ever been unfaithful to me?"

Martha replied, "Well Henry, I have to be honest with you. Yes, I've been unfaithful to you three times during these 50 years, but always for a good reason.

Henry was obviously hurt by his wife's confession, but said, "I never suspected. Can you tell me what you mean by 'good reasons?'"

Martha said, "The first time was shortly after we were married, and we were about to lose our little house because we couldn't pay the mortgage.

Do you remember that one evening I went to see the banker and the next day he notified you that the loan would be extended?"

Henry recalled the visit to the banker and said, "I can forgive you for that. You saved our home, but what about the second time?"

Martha asked, "And do you remember when you were so sick, but we didn't have the money to pay for the heart surgery you needed? Well, I went to see your doctor one night and, if you recall, he did the surgery at no charge."

"I recall that," said Henry. "And you did it to save my life, so of course I can forgive you for that. Now tell me about the third time."

"Alright," Martha said. "So do you remember when you ran for president of your golf club, and you needed 73 more votes?"

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Joke # 8

Q: What bird can lift the most?
A: A crane.

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SydesJokes Blog Posts

Drones

http://sydesjokes.blogspot.com/2013/03/drones.html

Chalk Board Drawing

http://sydesjokes.blogspot.com/2013/03/chalk-board-drawing.html

Child Rearing FAQ

http://sydesjokes.blogspot.com/2013/03/child-rearing-faq.html

Euphemisms for Workplace Incompetence

http://sydesjokes.blogspot.com/2013/03/euphemisms-for-workplace-incompetence.html

The Origin of the White Wedding Dress

http://sydesjokes.blogspot.com/2013/02/the-origin-of-white-wedding-dress.html

More funny posts --> http://bit.ly/h97b22

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SydesJokes Video Clips

AT&T History

http://bit.ly/a1zlyO

Ninjas

http://bit.ly/bRZr7J

Tits Sport and Funny Shit

http://bit.ly/aalCHz

Laughing Babies

http://bit.ly/cgDtCn

Mouse Dance

http://bit.ly/b4xyNO

More video clips --> http://bit.ly/Vk7wDY

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Monday, April 21, 2014

The Little Black Dress



You Can Not change the people around you



The biggest communication problem



Seniors



Jokes for Monday 21st April 2014

SydesJokes Blog
http://SydesJokes.blogspot.com/

SydesJokes Facebook Page
http://SydesJokes.com/Facebook

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http://twitter.com/SydesJokes

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SydesJokes Home Page (Site now an archive no longer updated)
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SydesJokes Facebook Page Posts

Please Like the posts and leave your comments.

Notice

https://www.facebook.com/photo.php?fbid=584419814923918

NOW or NEVER

https://www.facebook.com/photo.php?fbid=584446081587958

Odaxelagina

https://www.facebook.com/photo.php?fbid=583071228392110

Old and Wise

https://www.facebook.com/photo.php?fbid=584468744919025

One Dollar Bill

https://www.facebook.com/photo.php?fbid=593193694046530

Check more on Facebook --> http://SydesJokes.com/Facebook

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Joke # 1

World's Largest Hand-held Eggbeater




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Joke # 2

How do we know 'Dyslexia' is spelled right?

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Joke # 3

A little boy took the chair at the barbershop.

"How would you like your hair cut today, son?" asked the barber.

"Oh, do it like you do Daddy's, with the big hole at the back."

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Joke # 4

Q: How do you prevent a Summer cold?
A: Catch it in the Winter!

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Joke # 5

A stunning blonde had gone to her student advisor for some course problems, but seemed to be paying only half attention to his replies.

"Are you feeling OK?" he asked.

"Well, to be honest, I have this compulsion to have sex with every man I meet," she admitted. "Is there a name for my condition?"

"Why yes, there is," he said, as he picked her up and began carrying her to the couch. "It's called 'Good News'."

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Joke # 6

A wife suspected that her husband was having an affair with the maid.

She thought of a plan to take him by surprise. One Friday she told the maid to take the day off and that night she went into the maid's room, switched off all the lights and, in pitch darkness, slipped into the bed. Sure enough at midnight, there were footsteps and a figure opened the door and slipped into the maid's bed beside her.

After a few passionate kisses, the wife suddenly switched on the lights and asked, "Surprised?"

"I sure am, ma'am!" stammered the chauffeur.

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Joke # 7

A FIREMAN came home from work one day and told his wife, 'You know, we have a wonderful system at the fire station: BELL 1 rings and we all put on our jackets, BELL 2 rings and we all slide down the pole, BELL 3 rings and we're on the fire truck ready to go.'

From now on when I say BELL 1 I want you to strip naked. When I say BELL 2 I want you to jump in bed. And when I say BELL 3 We are going to make love all night.'

The next night he came home from work and yelled 'BELL 1!' The wife promptly took all her clothes off. When he yelled 'BELL 2!', the wife jumped into bed. When he yelled 'BELL 3!', they began making love.

After a few minutes the wife yelled 'BELL 4!'

'What the hell is BELL 4?' asked the husband?

' ROLL OUT MORE HOSE,' she replied, 'YOU'RE NOWHERE NEAR THE FIRE.'

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Joke # 8

Q: How does a pig go to hospital?
A: In a hambulance.

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SydesJokes Blog Posts

Don't Judge Someone

http://sydesjokes.blogspot.com/2013/03/dont-judge-someone.html

Fear of weapons

http://sydesjokes.blogspot.com/2013/03/fear-of-weapons.html

Caffeinated

http://sydesjokes.blogspot.com/2013/03/caffeinated.html

Coffee - The most important meal of the day

http://sydesjokes.blogspot.com/2013/03/coffee-most-important-meal-of-day.html

10 Misconceptions Dispelled

http://sydesjokes.blogspot.com/2013/03/10-misconceptions-dispelled.html

More funny posts --> http://bit.ly/h97b22

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SydesJokes Video Clips

Pretzels

http://bit.ly/dmnZU7

Home Made Tank

http://bit.ly/dgXkoB

Off Road Commode

http://bit.ly/aOCUDw

Breakdown Triangle

http://bit.ly/cjt0Ae

Widest Waterfall in the World

http://bit.ly/kmGXzC

More video clips --> http://bit.ly/Vk7wDY

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Sunday, April 20, 2014

Wine



The Outernet



Wives



Worry



Your life is your message to the world



Age gets better with wine



Argument



Bacon Sandwich



Drinking coffee out of a clear mug



Eleanor Roosevelt Quote



Jokes for Sunday 20th April 2014

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SydesJokes Facebook Page Posts

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No matter how serious life gets

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Not a Gynecologist

https://www.facebook.com/photo.php?fbid=588477724518127

Not an Alcoholic

https://www.facebook.com/photo.php?fbid=588894537809779

Note to self

https://www.facebook.com/photo.php?fbid=593183800714186

Nothing happens after you die

https://www.facebook.com/photo.php?fbid=584404568258776

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Joke # 1

Suburbs




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Joke # 2

Sign In Photography Darkroom: THINK NEGATIVE

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Joke # 3

A woman goes into a sporting goods store to buy a rifle. "It's for my husband," she tells the clerk.

"Did he tell you what gauge to get?" asked the clerk.

"Are you kidding?" she says. "He doesn't even know that I'm going to shoot him!"

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Joke # 4

Q: How do you make a hot dog stand?
A: Steal its chair.

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Joke # 5

The guy walked into the bar (ouch) looking like he'd been run over by a truck. His hair was matted, his face bloody and scratched, his clothes torn. His friends bought him a beer, then asked, "What happened?"

The guy chugged the beer and said, "I was fighting for Joanne's virginity."

"No kidding?"

"Yeah. But that little tiger was determined to keep it."

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Joke # 6

At the banquet of their 25th wedding anniversary, Tom was asked to give his friends a brief account of the benefits of a marriage of such long duration.

"Tell us, Tom, just what is it you have learned from all those wonderful years with your wife?"

Tom responds, "Well, I've learned that marriage is the best teacher of all. It teaches you loyalty, forbearance, meekness, self-restraint, forgiveness and a great many other qualities you wouldn't have needed if you'd stayed single!

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Joke # 7

There was this little boy about 10 years old walking down the sidewalk dragging a "flattened" frog on a string behind him.

He walked up to a house of ill repute and knocked on the door. When the Madam answered it, she saw the little boy and asked what he wanted.

He said, "I want to have sex with one of the women inside. I have the money and I'm not leaving until I do." The Madam figured, why not, so she told him to come in.

Once in, she told him to pick any of the girls he liked. He asked, "Do any of the girls have any diseases?" Of course, the Madam said no.

He said, "I heard all the men talking about having to get shots after making it with Amber."

THAT'S the girl I want!" Since the little boy was so adamant and had the money to pay for it, the Madam told him to go to the first room on the right.

He headed down the hall dragging the squashed frog behind him.

Ten minutes later he came back, still dragging the frog, paid the Madam, and headed out the door. The Madam stopped him and asked, "Why did you pick the only girl in the place with a disease, instead of one of the others?"

He said, "Well, if you must know, tonight when I get home, my parents are going out to a restaurant to eat, leaving me at home with my baby-sitter.

After they leave, my baby-sitter will have sex with me because she just happens to be very fond of little boys. She will get the disease that I just caught. When Mom and Dad get back, Dad will take the baby-sitter home.

On the way, he'll jump the baby-sitter's bones, and he'll catch the disease.

Then when Dad gets home from the baby-sitters, he and Mom will go to bed and have sex, and Mom will catch it. In the morning when Dad goes to work, the Milkman will deliver the milk, have a quickie with Mom and catch the disease, and HE'S the son-of-a-bitch who ran over my FROG.

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Joke # 8

Q: How do you make an egg laugh?
A: Tell it a yolk.

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SydesJokes Blog Posts

I am not fat

http://sydesjokes.blogspot.com/2013/03/i-am-not-fat.html

Googling your symptons

http://sydesjokes.blogspot.com/2013/03/googling-your-symptons.html

Bubbles of methane in a frozen lake

http://sydesjokes.blogspot.com/2013/03/bubbles-of-methane-in-frozen-lake.html

It's not that I am lazy

http://sydesjokes.blogspot.com/2013/03/its-not-that-i-am-lazy.html

New Rule

http://sydesjokes.blogspot.com/2013/03/new-rule.html

More funny posts --> http://bit.ly/h97b22

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SydesJokes Video Clips

Mooning the Cops

http://bit.ly/aAhKOp

The Farmers Daughter

http://bit.ly/aqV9So

Did You Know

http://bit.ly/cnE4PU

Amazing Camera

http://bit.ly/dnvZyG

Romance Isnt Dead

http://bit.ly/9sMVkx

More video clips --> http://bit.ly/Vk7wDY

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Saturday, April 19, 2014

Jokes for Saturday 19th April 2014

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SydesJokes Home Page (Site now an archive no longer updated)
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SydesJokes Facebook Page Posts

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Monday is when you plant the seeds of your week

https://www.facebook.com/photo.php?fbid=582698285096071

More Space

https://www.facebook.com/photo.php?fbid=591697540862812

Mr Bean - Life is so short

https://www.facebook.com/photo.php?fbid=582009358498297

National Kiss My Butt Day

https://www.facebook.com/photo.php?fbid=588057747893458

Never discourage others

https://www.facebook.com/photo.php?fbid=582753358423897

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Joke # 1

Flipper Heels




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Joke # 2

If two mouses are mice and two louses are lice why aren't two houses hice?

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Joke # 3

"Miss, would you help me?" a customer at a department store asked a female clerk. "I would like to purchase a birthday gift for my brother. What do you suggest for a man who has everything?"

The clerk offered, "My phone number?"

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Joke # 4

Q: What do you call a dinosaur that wears a cowboy hat and boots?
A: Tyrannosaurus Tex.

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Joke # 5

After a long-overdue checkup, my dentist sat down with me to go over all the work I would need on my mouth. Her total estimate was $9,200. I gasped. "For that kind of money, I could get a tummy tuck and silicone implants."

"But what about your smile?" she asked.

"If I had all that done," I told her, "I guarantee no one would be looking at my teeth."

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Joke # 6

Harry teed up, addressed his golf ball, and took a magnificent swing, but something went wrong and he hit a wicked slice. The ball left the fairway he was playing, and it went onto the adjoining one where it hit a man full in the face.

He dropped like a rock!

Rushing over to the man, Harry and his partner found him unconscious and with the ball lying between his feet.

"Oh no!" exclaimed Harry. "What should we do?"

"I'm not sure," said his partner. "But don't move him! If we just leave him here, he's an immovable obstruction and you can either play the ball from where it lies or drop it two club lengths away without penalty."

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Joke # 7

So it seems that these four rabbis had a series of theo- logical arguments, and three were always in accord against the fourth.

One day, the odd rabbi out, after the usual "3 to 1, majority rules" statement that signified that he had lost again, decided to appeal to a higher authority.

"Oh, G~d!" he cried. "I know in my heart that I am right and they are wrong! Please give me a sign to prove it to them!"

It was a beautiful, sunny day.

As soon as the rabbi finished his prayer, a storm cloud moved across the sky above the four. It rumbled once and dissolved.

"A sign from G~od! See, I'm right, I knew it!"

But the other three disagreed, pointing out that storm clouds form on hot days.

So the rabbi prayed again: "Oh, G~d, I need a bigger sign to show that I am right and they are wrong. So please, G~d, a bigger sign!"

This time four storm clouds appeared, rushed toward each other to form one big cloud, and a bolt of lightning slammed into a tree on a nearby hill.

"I told you I was right!" cried the rabbi, but his friends insisted that nothing had happened that could not be explained by natural causes.

The rabbi was getting ready to ask for a *very big* sign, but just as he said, "Oh G~d...," the sky turned pitch black, the earth shook, and a deep, booming voice intoned, "HEEEEEEEE'S RIIIIIIIGHT!"

The rabbi put his hands on his hips, turned to the other three, and said, "Well?"

"So," shrugged one of the other rabbis, "now it's 3 to 2."

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Joke # 8

Q: How do we know the Indians were the first people in North America?
A: They had reservations.

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SydesJokes Blog Posts

It Might Be the Light

http://sydesjokes.blogspot.com/2013/03/it-might-be-light.html

Hymns for All Professions

http://sydesjokes.blogspot.com/2013/03/hymns-for-all-professions.html

A Nice Boy

http://sydesjokes.blogspot.com/2013/03/a-nice-boy.html

Street Art

http://sydesjokes.blogspot.com/2013/03/street-art.html

Organize power cables

http://sydesjokes.blogspot.com/2013/03/organize-power-cables.html

More funny posts --> http://bit.ly/h97b22

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SydesJokes Video Clips

Budweiser - Night At the Opera

http://bit.ly/9z7PoQ

The Best Volkswagen Ad Ever

http://bit.ly/hUTwMH

Man Vs Chimp

http://bit.ly/bf8ZYb

Cooking Crabs

http://bit.ly/9wfjXm

Riding A Camel

http://bit.ly/d5VlMq

More video clips --> http://bit.ly/Vk7wDY

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Friday, April 18, 2014

You missed a spot



Jokes for Friday 18th April 2014

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SydesJokes Facebook Page Posts

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Longterm Relationship

https://www.facebook.com/photo.php?fbid=587150337984199

Looking Sexy

https://www.facebook.com/photo.php?fbid=591449717554261

Marital Status

https://www.facebook.com/photo.php?fbid=593126300719936

Meanwhile in Afghanistan

https://www.facebook.com/photo.php?fbid=582663265099573

Mind Reading

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Joke # 1

Famous People in Lego #5




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Joke # 2

If corn oil is made from corn, and vegetable oil is made from vegetables, what is baby oil made from?

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Joke # 3

A quality engineer married an average girl.

After a tough life with her for two years, he ended with his patience and finally wrote a note to his father-in- law...

Your Product Not Meeting my Requirements.

The smart father-in-law replied: Warranty Expired.... Manufacturer Not Responsible.

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Joke # 4

Q: How do dinosaurs pay their bills?
A: With Tyrannosaurus checks.

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Joke # 5

"Johnny," the teacher started, "do you know what 'paranoia' means?"

"It's not a word, teach, it's several words," Johnny replied.

"Whatever do you mean by that?"

"It's like when you go into a restaurant and a well endowed waitress with a low cut uniform reaches in front of you and says, 'does my pair annoy ya'?"

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Joke # 6

A man checks into a hotel and the desk clerk asks, very quietly, if he would like a woman sent to his room. The man says yes.

The desk clerk says, "I have a stenographer, a switchboard operator or a teacher. Which one should I send up?"

With this the man replies, "I'll take the teacher."

When the man checks out the next morning, the desk clerk says, "I'm curious, why did you pick the teacher instead of the stenographer or the switchboard operator?"

The man replies, "The stenographer would say that she can't take it as fast as I give it. The switchboard operator would cut me off before I'm finished, but the teacher would tell me to do it over and over again until I get it right."

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Joke # 7

An Italian, an Irishman and a Chinese fellow are hired at a Sydney construction site.

The foreman points to a huge pile of sand and says to the Italian guy, "You're in charge of sweeping."

To the Irishman he says "You're in charge of shoveling."

To the Chinese guy, "You're in charge of supplies."

He then says, "Now, I have to leave for a little while. I expect you guys to make a dent in that there pile."

So the foreman goes away for a couple hours, but when he returns the pile of sand is untouched.

He says to the Italian: "Why didn't you sweep any of it?"

The Italian replies in a heavy accent, "I no gotta broom, an' you tella me dat de Chinese'a guy supposa bringa da supplies, but he disappear and I no finda him."

Then the foreman turns to the Irishman and asks why he didn't shovel.

The Irishman replies in his heavy brogue, "Aye, that ye did, but I couldn't get meself a shovel. Ye left the Chinese fella in charge of supplies, but I couldn't fin' him."

The foreman is really angry now, and storms off looking for the Chinese guy.

He can't find him anywhere and is getting angrier by the minute.

Just then, the Chinese guy springs out from behind the pile of sand and yells... "Supplies!!"

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Joke # 8

Q: What do you call a dinosaur that smashes everything in its path?
A: Tyrannosaurus wrecks.

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SydesJokes Blog Posts

Nemo Snow Sculpture

http://sydesjokes.blogspot.com/2013/03/nemo-snow-sculpture.html

Moses after Nemo

http://sydesjokes.blogspot.com/2013/03/moses-after-nemo.html

2 feet of snow fell this morning

http://sydesjokes.blogspot.com/2013/03/2-feet-of-snow-fell-this-morning.html

What day is it?

http://sydesjokes.blogspot.com/2013/03/what-day-is-it.html

Rome's Trevi Fountain

http://sydesjokes.blogspot.com/2013/03/romes-trevi-fountain.html

More funny posts --> http://bit.ly/h97b22

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SydesJokes Video Clips

TV Commercial Songs

http://bit.ly/9pbEs5

Snow Car

http://bit.ly/cvdWt6

Bill Gates Blue Screen of Death

http://bit.ly/aneALG

Domelsch Archeology

http://bit.ly/doXYST

Dr Horrible's Sing Along Act 2 / Part 2

http://bit.ly/a8agMY

More video clips --> http://bit.ly/Vk7wDY

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Young and Stupid

To Be Rich



The Four Stages of Life



May your coffee be strong



Don't wait