Joke 1
Albert Einstein
Original post: http://bit.ly/2CBF5ul
Joke 2
I always wanted to be a procrastinator, never got around to it
Joke 3
A man wearing a dirty raincoat sidled up to a businessman on the street corner and asked, "Got any pictures of your wife naked?"
"Certainly not!" huffed the businessman.
The other man inquired, "Wanna buy some?"
Joke 4
Q: What’s the slipperiest country?
A: Greece!
Joke 5
Little Johnny keeps asking his Dad for a television in his bedroom, to which his Dad keeps saying "No".
After all the nagging, he agrees and says, "OK".
Several nights later Johnny comes downstairs and asks "Dad, what's Love, Juice?"
Dad is horrified, and after looking at Mum who's also gob smacked, proceeds to give his son the whole works.
Johnny now sits on sofa with his mouth open in amazement.
Dad asks, "So, what is it you've been watching then, Son?"
Johnny replies, "Wimbledon."
Joke 6
A minister was walking to church one morning when he passed one of his members working in his garden. "Can't you hear those bells calling you to church?" asked the minister.
"Eh, what's that?" said the member.
"Can't you hear those bells calling you to church?"
"I'm afraid you'll have to speak a little louder!" said the member.
"CAN'T YOU HEAR THOSE BELLS CALLING YOU TO CHURCH?!" shouted the minister.
"I'm sorry," said the member, "I can't hear you because of those darned BELLS!"
Joke 7
A blonde woman gets pulled over for doing 85 in a 25mph zone. The cop asks her for her license and registration. She says, "License, what's that?"
He replies, "It's what they ask for when you buy liquor."
She says, "Oh, I get it," and hands him her license.
Then she asks what a registration is. He says, "It's probably in your glove box. Just open it and give me the papers inside." She does, so he returns to his car.
He calls the police dispatcher and says, "I think I just pulled over the dumbest blonde ever! She didn't even know what a license was."
The dispatcher says, "I know who she is. She's driving a new BMW, with pink mirrors."
The cop says, "Yeah, how'd you know?"
The dispatcher says, "Never mind that, just go up to her car and drop your pants."
The cop says, "No freakin' way!"
The dispatcher says, "Just trust me, all the cops in town have done it."
So the cop agrees and reluctantly walks up to her car. He looks around and then drops his pants.
The blonde woman says, "Another breathalyzer test? No problem, I pass these all the time.
Joke 8
Q: Why can’t you say a joke while standing on ice?
A: Because it might crack up!
Courage
Original post: http://bit.ly/2CHmNbq
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