British Corner Shop - British Food, Delivered Worldwide

British Corner Shop - British Food, Delivered Worldwide

Thursday, April 5, 2018

Daily Jokes from SydesJokes for 5 Apr 2018

 

Joke 1

Elizabeth Barrett Browning

SydesJokes Blog

Original post: http://bit.ly/2Fuykgj


Joke 2

We can do anything we want to if we stick to it long enough. - Helen Keller


Joke 3

After Sunday mass, a little boy named Rocco told Father O'Reilly, "When I grow up, I'm going to give you some money."

"Well, thank you," Father O'Reilly replied. "But why?"

"Because," little Rocco responded, "my nonna says you're one of the poorest preachers we've ever had."


Joke 4

Q: Why did God give women nipples ?
A: To make suckers out of men.


Joke 5

Little Johnny is in the park eating candy when an old man comes up to him. The old man says, "Y'know, eating candy is not good for your health."

Little Johnny says, "Oh, yeah? Well, my grandpa lived to 103."

The old man asks, "Well, did he eat candy?"

Little Johnny says, "No, but he knew how to mind his own damn business."


Joke 6

Two of our gals, Sally and Betty, were discussing Sally's date the evening before.

Sally exclaimed, " Betty, he was sooo erudite, clever, and sophisticated. He speaks six languages, drives a Lamborghini. An such a gentleman, he took me to a Parisian restaurant and ordered the whole meal and the wine in French. After dinner we went to his penthouse apartment to look over his Russian book collection and then we had some cognac sitting by the fireplace."

"Wow, Sally, he sounds absolutly fabulous! But tell me, just how far did he get with you?"

"Well, I really rather not say, but 'll admit he was definitly quite the cunning linguist!"


Joke 7

Little Johnny and his girl were walking along a trail in the woods. Suzy noticed that some of the animals were behaving oddly. "Little Johnny, why is that rabbit on top that other one?" she asked.

Little Johnny stopped to consider his answer, and replied, "They're making cigarettes."

"Cigarettes?" she exclaimed, as they continue walking along. Pretty soon, they approached a couple of raccoons. Suzy asked, "Are they making cigarettes too?"

"Yea," says Little Johnny.

Suzy looked around and said, "It looks like all the animals are making cigarettes, why do not we make cigarettes?"

Little Johnny was quick to say, "OK!"

An hour or so later Little Johnny and Suzy were walking out of the woods, when she asked, "Little Johnny, what kind of cigarettes did we make?"

Little Johnny stopped to think about his answer, and then replied, "Well if you get a hump in your belly it's a Camel, and if you don't it was a Lucky Strike."


Joke 8

Q: What's the most common cause of hearing loss among men?
A: His wife saying she wants to talk to him.


Pablo Picasso

SydesJokes Blog

Original post: http://bit.ly/2Fs6K33


 

 

 

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