I did this SydesJokes Daily Digest for many years as a daily e.mail but stopped. I have decided to do them again but this time as blog posts
Joke 1
Lost the ability to give a damn
Original post: http://csyd.es/1/310
Joke 2
Hard work has a future payoff. Laziness pays off now.
Joke 3
The early bird may get the worm, but the second mouse gets the cheese.
Joke 4
Q: Why did the boy take a ladder to school?
A: He wanted to go to high school!
Joke 5
The two teenagers were arrested for public lewdness and possession of marijuana when they were found naked, each smoking a joint, sitting on the edge of the fountain in the town square.
The arresting officer told them they were entitled to a phone call, since he was unable to reach either parent.
Some time later, a man entered the station and the sergeant said, "I suppose you're the kids' lawyer."
Nope, the chap replied. "I'm just here to deliver them a pizza."
Joke 6
It was a Saturday afternoon, and Ray had rushed down to the local supermarket to hurriedly pick up some hamburger rolls, chips and a few condiments.
The big game was going to be on, so he was having a few friends over to watch it.
The store was loaded with shoppers and as he headed for the six item express lane, the only one that didn't have a long line, a woman completely ignoring the overhead sign slipped into the check-out line just in front of him pushing a cart piled high with groceries.
Ray was quietly fuming at the anticipated delay. But the elderly cashier beckoned the woman to come forward, looked into the cart and asked ever so sweetly, "So Dearie, which six items would you like to buy?"
Joke 7
One evening an avid bird watcher stood in his backyard and heard an owl hoot. So he thought he'd give a hoot back. To his surprise and delight the bird hooted again. The next night the same scenario occurred.
All Summer, the man and his feathered friend hooted back and forth. He even kept a log of the "conversations."
Just as he thought he was on the verge of a breakthrough in inter species communication, his wife, had a chat with her next door neighbor.
"My husband spends his nights calling to owls," the wife commented.
"That's odd," the neighbor replied. "So does my husband."
Then it dawned on them ...
Joke 8
Q: What did the one penny say to the other penny?
A: We make perfect cents.
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