Daily Jokes from SydesJokes for 10 Oct 2017

 

Joke 1

Adapting to change

Original post: http://csyd.es/1/11

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Joke 2

I’ve learned that no matter how much I care, some people are just assholes.

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Joke 3

The dean was addressing the incoming freshmen. "The women's dormitory is out-of-bounds for all male students, and the male dormitory to the female students. Anybody caught breaking this rule will be fined $20 the first time. Anybody caught breaking this rule the second time will be fined $60. Being caught a third time will cost you $180. Are there any questions?"

Someone in the back piped up, "How much for a season pass?"

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Joke 4

Q: How many divorced men does it take to screw in a light bulb?
A: None, the sockets go with the house.

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Joke 5

There's the story about the MIT student who spent an entire summer going to Harvard football field every day wearing a black and white striped shirt, walking up and down the field for ten or fifteen minutes throwing birdseed all over the field, blowing a whistle and walking off the field.

At the end of the summer, it came time for the first Harvard home football game.

When the referee walked onto the field and blew his whistle, the game had to be delayed for half an hour to wait for the birds to get off the field.

The guy wrote his thesis on this and graduated.

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Joke 6

Mr. Peterson, a tourist from Toronto arrived in Florida.

In an airport taxi cab, Peterson asked the driver... "Say, is this really a healthful place?"

"It sure is", the cabby replied. "When I came here I couldn't say one word. I had hardly any hair on my head. I didn't have the strength to walk across a room, and I had to be lifted out of bed."

"That's wonderful!" said the tourist , "How long have you been here?"

"I was born here."

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Joke 7

A blonde was summoned to court to appear as a witness in a lawsuit. The prosecutor opened his questioning with, "Where were you the night of August 24th?"

Objection! said the defense attorney. "Irrelevant!"

Oh, that's okay, said the blonde from the witness stand. "I don't mind answering the question."

I object! the defense said again.

No, really, said the blonde. "I'll answer."

The judge ruled: "If the witness insists on answering, there is no reason for the defense to object."

So the prosecutor repeated the question: "Where were you the night of August 24th?"

The blonde replied brightly, "I don't know!"

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Joke 8

Q: What did the hurricane say to the coconut tree?
A: Hold onto your nuts, this is going to be a hell of a blow job.

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Buy Bitcoin

Original post: http://csyd.es/1/5

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