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Saturday, October 7, 2017

Daily Jokes from SydesJokes for 7 Oct 2017

 

Joke 1

Engineer

SydesJokes Blog

Original post: http://csyd.es/1/67


Joke 2

What was the best thing before sliced bread?


Joke 3

A minister parked his car in a no-parking zone in a large city because he was short of time and couldn't find a space with a meter. So he put a note under the windshield wiper that read: "I have circled the block 10 times. If I don't park here, I'll miss my appointment. FORGIVE US OUR TRESPASSES."

When he returned, he found a citation from a police officer along with this note: "I've circled this block for 10 years. If I don't give you a ticket, I'll lose my job. LEAD US NOT INTO TEMPTATION."


Joke 4

Q: Why was the scarecrow given a medal?
A: For being outstanding in his field!


Joke 5

There are three blonde guys stranded on an island. Suddenly a fairy appears and offers to grant each one of them a wish.

The first blonde asks to be intelligent. Instantly, he is turned into a brown haired man and swims off the island.

The next one asks to be even more intelligent than the previous one, so instantly he is turned into a black haired man. The black haired man builds a boat and sails off the island.

The third blonde asks to become even more intelligent than the previous two. The fairy turns him into a woman, and she walks across the bridge.


Joke 6

Two men, sentenced to die in the electric chair on the same day, were led down to the room in which they would meet their maker. The priest had given them last rites, the formal speech had been given by the warden, and a final prayer had been said among the participants.

The warden, turning to the first man, solemnly asked, "Son, do you have a last request?"

To which the man replied, "Yes sir, I do. I love dance music. Could you please play the Macarena for me one last time?"

Certainly, replied the warden. He turned to the other man and asked, "Well, what about you, son? What is your final request?"

Please, said the condemned man, "kill me first."


Joke 7

Hal looked out his window one Saturday morning and saw his neighbor, Bob, approaching. Hal groaned inside because every time Bob came over, it was to borrow something that he wouldn't return on time, and which would usually require much effort on Hal's part to get back.

Hal hated saying no, but as he watched Bob reach the house and knock on the door, he promised himself that this time he would not give in so easily.

Hal answered the door. "Hello," Bob said, then asked, "I wonder if you'd be using your power saw this morning?"

Gee, I'm awfully sorry, Hal replied, "but I'll be using it off and on all day."

Bob then asked, "Well then can I borrow your lawn mower?"

Sorry, Hal answered, "the grass needs to be cut today too."

What about your hedge clippers? Bob asked.

I have plans for those as well, Hal answered. "As you can see," he added, "I have a list of chores a mile long and I'll need all my tools for the entire day."

Great! Bob replied. "I was coming over to borrow your golf clubs. You won't be needing them today, right?"


Joke 8

Q: Why are babies good at soccer?
A: Because they dribble!


Climate Change a big hoax [climate]

SydesJokes Blog

Original post: http://csyd.es/1/72


 

 

 

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