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Tuesday, December 26, 2017

Daily Jokes from SydesJokes for 26 Dec 2017

 

Joke 1

Physically I am here

SydesJokes Blog

Original post: http://csyd.es/1/110


Joke 2

Backup not found! A)bort, R)etry or P)anic?


Joke 3

A man went to the Police Station wishing to speak with the burglar who had broken into his house the night before.

You'll get your chance in court, said the Desk Sergeant.

No, no, no! said the man. "I want to know how he got into the house without waking my wife. I've been trying to do that for years!"


Joke 4

Q: Why was the math book sad?
A: It had too many problems.


Joke 5

A sixty-ish woman was at home happily jumping on her bed and squealing with delight ... Her husband watches her for a while and asks, "Do you have any idea how ridiculous you look, what's the matter with you?"

The woman continues to bounce on the bed and says, "I don't care, I just came from having a mammogram and the doctor says I have the breasts of an 18 year-old"..

The husband replies, "What did he say about your 65 year old bum?"

Your name never came up, she replied.


Joke 6

Mary: My friend Joe called me last night to complain about his home life.

Jill: Really? What's the problem?

Mary: Oh, it's the usual. His daughter's a teenager. You know how teens can be!

Jill: Oh, yes, I do!

Mary: He said, "I can't get a break! My daughter's 14 and getting breasts, and my wife's 48 and getting a moustache!"


Joke 7

Joe sets up Michael to go on a blind date with a friend of his.

But Michael is a little worried about going out with someone he’s never seen before.

What do I do if she’s ugly? asks Mike, "I’ll be stuck with her all night!"

Don’t worry, Joe says, "Do this: Just go up to her door and meet her first. If you like what you see, then everything goes as planned. If you don’t just shout, ‘Aaaaaaaaaugh!’ and fake a seizure."

That'll work? Mike asks.

Trust me, Joe says. "It's been done before."

So that night Mike knocks on the girl’s door. When she answers, he is awe-struck at how beautiful and sexy she is. He’s about to speak when she suddenly shouts, "Aaaaaaaaaugh!"


Joke 8

Q: Why did the girl throw the butter out the window?
A: She wanted to see a butterfly.


Teach your kids about building a gaming PC

SydesJokes Blog

Original post: http://csyd.es/1/209


 

 

 

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