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Thursday, March 15, 2018

Daily Jokes from SydesJokes for 15 Mar 2018

 

Joke 1

George Bernard Shaw

SydesJokes Blog

Original post: http://bit.ly/2CGbboQ


Joke 2

What's the difference between new and brand new?


Joke 3

Seems this elderly couple went to the clinic and asked to be tested for HIV. When the counselor asked why they felt that they should be tested at their age.

The old man said, "Well, we heard on TV that people should be tested after annual sex!"


Joke 4

Q: Why shouldn't you feed your teddy bear?
A: He is already stuffed.


Joke 5

Marketing VP: Why haven't you kept me up-to-date on this account?

Ops Guy: I've cc'd you on every e-mail I sent to them!

Marketing VP: I don't have time to read my e-mails. There's too much information in them. If you send me an important e-mail, give me a call to let me know I need to check it.


Joke 6

There was this Chinese businessman visiting a newly acquired business in the United States. As a gesture of good will, the executives of his newly acquired business took him to a golf course for a round of golf. He had never played the game before.

Upon his return to China, his family asked what he had done in the United States.

He replied, "Played most interesting game. Hit little white ball with long stick in large cow pasture. Name of game is Oh shit!"


Joke 7

An old couple, Margaret and Bert, moved to Texas.

Bert always wanted a pair of authentic cowboy boots, so, seeing some on sale in a western wear shop one day, he bought them and wore them home.

Walking proudly, he sauntered into the kitchen and said to his wife, "Notice anything different about me?"

Margaret looked him over. "Nope," she answered.

Frustrated, Bert ducked into the bathroom, undressed and walked back into the kitchen completely naked except for the boots. Again he asked Margaret, a little louder this time, "Notice anything Different NOW?"

Margaret looked up and said in her best deadpan, "What's different, Bert? It's hanging down today, it was hanging down yesterday, and it'll be hanging down again tomorrow!"

Annoyed, Bert exclaimed, "And do you know why it's hanging down, Margaret?"

"Nope. Not a clue," she replied.

Bert came back, "It's hanging down because it's looking at my new boots!"

Without missing a beat, Margaret replied, "Shoulda bought a hat, Bert. Shoulda bought a hat!"


Joke 8

Q: How many Californians does it take to screw in a light bulb?
A: Californians don't screw in light bulbs; they screw in hot tubs.


Mark Twain

SydesJokes Blog

Original post: http://bit.ly/2CE2CLq


 

 

 

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