British Corner Shop - British Food, Delivered Worldwide

British Corner Shop - British Food, Delivered Worldwide

Monday, March 5, 2018

Daily Jokes from SydesJokes for 5 Mar 2018

 

Joke 1

Life is worth living as long as there's a laugh in it

SydesJokes Blog

Original post: http://bit.ly/2GcRhEh


Joke 2

All tyranny needs to gain a foothold is for people of good conscience to remain silent. - Edmund Burke


Joke 3

In her own eyes, Suzy was the most popular girl around. "A lot of men are gonna be totally miserable when I marry."

"Really?" said her date, "And just how many men are you intending to marry?"


Joke 4

Q: How do you make a fire with two sticks?
A: Make sure one is a match!


Joke 5

The man entered the florist shop and ordered a bouquet of flowers to be delivered to his wife. When asked what he wanted on the card, he replied that no card was necessary as she'd know who they came from.

Shortly after the flowers were delivered, the florist received a phone call from the wife asking who had sent the flowers. The florist told her that the sender requested no card be included.

"Please, I've GOT to know WHO sent these flowers BEFORE my husband comes home for lunch!"


Joke 6

It was a typical night at the old watering hole. Jim walked in, took his seat at the bar and ordered a tall one.

Then Jim told his buddy, Bill, "I called the local insane asylum yesterday to check on who has escaped from there recently."

Confused by his buddy's comment, Bill asked, "Oh? Why were you wondering about that?"

Jim explained, "Well, somebody married my ex-wife last week."


Joke 7

A Doctor recently had a patient "drop" in on him for an unscheduled appointment. "What can I do for you today?" the Doctor asked.

The aged Gentleman replied, "Doctor, you must help me. Every time I make love to my wife, my eyes get all bleary, my legs go weak, I can hardly catch my breath... Doctor, I'm scared!"

The Doctor, looking at his 86 year old patient, said, "Mr. Smith, these sensations tend to happen over time, especially to a man of your advanced years, but tell me, when did you first notice these symptoms?"

The old gent replied, "Well... three times last night, and twice again this morning!"


Joke 8

Q: What washes up on small beaches?
A: Microwaves.


Happiness

SydesJokes Blog

Original post: http://bit.ly/2Gb97aC


 

 

 

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