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Thursday, March 8, 2018

Daily Jokes from SydesJokes for 8 Mar 2018

Daily Jokes from SydesJokes for 8 Mar 2018

 

Joke 1

Courage

SydesJokes Blog

Original post: http://bit.ly/2CHmNbq


Joke 2

Money will buy a fine dog, but only kindness will make him wag his tail.


Joke 3

"The reason I like dating Lori," the office snob remarked primly, "is that she's on the up and up."

"And the reason, I like dating Laura" his coworker replied, "is that she's into the up and down, the in and out, the back and forth ... you name it!"


Joke 4

Q: What kind of driver has no arms or legs?
A: A screwdriver.


Joke 5

An old couple was sitting in Church and the wife noticed that people were staring at her.

She leaned across to her husband and whispered, "I've just let go a silent fart. What do you think I should do?"

He said, "I think you should get fresh batteries for your hearing aid."


Joke 6

The old businessman was trying to teach his son so he could follow in his footsteps. "Remember, I owe my success to two principles, honesty and wisdom."

The son asked him how he defined these two principles.

The father said, "Honesty means if you promise a man to deliver his merchandise, you must deliver it come hell or high water. Even if it means losing money and bankrupting yourself you must deliver."

The son said he understood, and then asked what is the meaning of his use of wisdom. The father answered, "Jerk, who told you to promise?"


Joke 7

Ethel was a bit of a speed demon in her wheelchair, and loved to charge around the nursing home, taking corners on one wheel, getting up maximum speed in the long corridors. Because the poor woman was one sandwich short of a picnic, the other residents tolerated her, and some of the males actually joined in.

One day, Ethel was speeding up one corridor when a door opened and Goofy Gordon stepped out with his arm outstretched. "STOP!" he shouted in a firm voice. Have you got a license for that thing?".

Ethel fished around in her handbag and pulled out a Kit Kat wrapper, and held it up to him. "OK" he said, and away Ethel sped down the hall.

As she took the corner near the TV lounge on one wheel, Weird Wally popped out in front of her and shouted, "STOP! Have you got proof of insurance?"

Ethel dug into her handbag, pulled out a drink coaster, and held it up to him. Harold nodded and said, "Carry on, ma'am."

As Ethel neared the final corridor before the front door, Crazy Craig stepped out in front of her, stark naked, with a very sizable erection. "Oh, Crap!" cried Ethel. "Not the Breathalyzer again!"


Joke 8

Q: What do you call a king who is only 12 inches tall?
A: A ruler.


All tyranny needs to gain a foothold is for people of good conscience to remain silent. - Edmund Burke

SydesJokes Blog

Original post: http://bit.ly/2GavrRQ


 

 

 

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