Joke 1
If you love deeply
Original post: http://bit.ly/2GGXY2c
Joke 2
Men are like..... Used Cars. Both are easy-to-get, cheap, and unreliable.
Joke 3
Ramona said, "My, but you look different today," to Marianne, a coworker at the hospital. "Your hair is extra curly, and you have this wide-eyed look. What did you use - special curlers and some dramatic eye makeup?"
"No!" replied Marianne. "My vibrator shorted out this morning."
Joke 4
Q: Why can't a nose be twelve inches long?
A: Because then it'd be a foot!
Joke 5
A soldier went up to the Company Cook and said, "If you put a lid on the pan there'll be less dust and dirt in the food".
The cook, very annoyed, replied, "You mind your own business. Your duty is to defend the homeland!"
"That's right," said the soldier. "But my duty is to defend it, not to eat it."
Joke 6
Wife: 'You always carry my photo in your wallet. Why?'
Hubby: 'When there is a problem, no matter how great, I look at your picture and the problem disappears.'
Wife: ' You see how miraculous and powerful I am for you?'
Hubby: 'Yes! I see your picture and ask myself what other problem can there be greater than this one?'
Joke 7
Pauly walks into a bar and says "Bartender, one round for everyone, on me!" The bartender says, "Well, Pauly, seems you're in a really good mood tonight, eh?"
Pauly says, "Oh, you can bet on it! I just got hired by the city to go around and remove all the money from paring meters. I start on Monday!" The bartender congratulates the man and proceeds to pour the round.
Monday evening arrives. Pauly comes back into the bar and says "Bartender, TWO rounds for everyone, on me!"
The bartender says, "Well now! If you're so happy just over having this new job, I can just imagine how happy you'll be when you get your paycheck!"
Pauly looks at the bartender with a confused look on his face, pulls out quite a handful of quarters from his pocket, and says "You mean they'll PAY me on top of it?"
Joke 8
Q: Why was the cucumber mad?
A: Because it was in a pickle!
Chinese Proverb
Original post: http://bit.ly/2GHeI9U
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