Daily Jokes from SydesJokes for 16 Feb 2018

 

Joke 1

A problem

Original post: http://bit.ly/2GGXZDi

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Joke 2

There is no passion to be found playing small - in settling for a life that is less than the one you are capable of living. - Nelson Mandela

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Joke 3

Two friends were out drinking when suddenly one lurched backward off his barstool and lay motionless on the floor.

"One thing about Jim," his buddy said to the bartender, "he knows when to stop."

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Joke 4

Q: What did the mayonnaise say to the fridge?
A: Close the door, I'm dressing!

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Joke 5

There was a very gracious lady who was mailing an old family Bible to her brother in another part of the country.

"Is there anything breakable in here?" asked the postal clerk.

"Only the Ten Commandments." answered the lady.

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Joke 6

Pauly walks into a bar and says "Bartender, one round for everyone, on me!" The bartender says, "Well, Pauly, seems you're in a really good mood tonight, eh?"

Pauly says, "Oh, you can bet on it! I just got hired by the city to go around and remove all the money from paring meters. I start on Monday!" The bartender congratulates the man and proceeds to pour the round.

Monday evening arrives. Pauly comes back into the bar and says "Bartender, TWO rounds for everyone, on me!"

The bartender says, "Well now! If you're so happy just over having this new job, I can just imagine how happy you'll be when you get your paycheck!"

Pauly looks at the bartender with a confused look on his face, pulls out quite a handful of quarters from his pocket, and says "You mean they'll PAY me on top of it?"

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Joke 7

There once was a third grader named Little Johnny. Every time the teacher would say something, Little Johnny would say, "How about that!"

One day, the teacher said, "And then George Washington crossed the Delaware."

Little Johnny said, "How about that!"

The teacher told Little Johnny, "If you say that one more time, you are going out into the hall, mister!"

To that, Little Johnny replied, "Well, how about that!"

Taking him by the arm, the teacher marched Little Johnny into the hall and said, "While you're out here, I want you to write a poem to tell the class."

Twenty minutes later, the teacher came out to get Little Johnny and said, "Before we go back in, I want to hear your poem."

Little Johnny said, "As I stood in the hall, I saw a cockroach go up the wall. How about that!"

The teacher said, "That's fine, Little Johnny, but I want you to leave the cock out."

She took him back into the classroom and announced that Little Johnny had a poem for the class.

Little Johnny stood up and said, "As I stood in the hall, I saw a roach go up the wall with his cock out. How about that!"

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Joke 8

Q: Why did the fool climb up on the roof?
A: Because he heard that the drinks were on the house.

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In order to succeed

Original post: http://bit.ly/2GFqIbK

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