British Corner Shop - British Food, Delivered Worldwide

British Corner Shop - British Food, Delivered Worldwide

Tuesday, February 13, 2018

Daily Jokes from SydesJokes for 13 Feb 2018

 

Joke 1

A sense of humor is part of the art of leadership

SydesJokes Blog

Original post: http://bit.ly/2GHJY8m


Joke 2

The secret of life is honesty and fair dealing. If you can fake that, you've got it made.


Joke 3

Employee: Boss, I've been here 11 years, doing three men's work for one man's pay. I want a raise and I want it now!

Boss: Well, I can't give you a raise, but tell you what.... if you tell me who the other two men are, I'll fire them.


Joke 4

Q: What do you call a song sung in an automobile?
A: A cartoon.


Joke 5

Harry teed his ball up, addressed his golf ball, and took a magnificent swing. Something went wrong, and he hit a wicked slice. T he ball left the fairway he was playing, and it went onto the adjoining one -- where it hit a man full in the face. He dropped like a rock!

Rushing over to the man, Harry and his partner found him unconscious, with the ball lying between his feet. "Oh no!" exclaimed Harry. "What should we do?"

"I'm not sure," said his partner. "But don't move him! If we just leave him here, he's an immovable obstruction and you can either play the ball from where it lies or drop it two clublengths away without penalty."


Joke 6

A small company was on the edge of bankruptcy. The owner summoned his two-man sales force into his office.

"Things aren't going too well, guys," he announced grimly. "So to perk up sales I'm announcing a contest. The guy with the most sales gets a blow job."

"What does the loser get?" asked one of the salesmen.

The owner looked at both men and said, "The loser gets to give it."


Joke 7

Once a blonde kept having the same weird dream every day, so she went to her doctor.

Doctor: What was your dream about?

Blonde: I was being chased by a vampire!

Doctor: Really... What was the scenery like?

Blonde: I was running in a hallway.

Doctor: Then what happened?

Blonde: Well, that's the weird thing. In every single dream, the same thing happened. I would always come to this door, but I couldn't open it. I kept pushing the door and pushing the door, but it wouldn't budge!

Doctor: Did the door have any letters on it?

Blonde: Yes, it did.

Doctor: And what did the letters spell?

Blonde: It said, "P-U-L-L."


Joke 8

Q: What do sea monsters eat for lunch?
A: Fish and ships.


This is the beginning of anything you want

SydesJokes Blog

Original post: http://bit.ly/2DSuKz7


 

 

 

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