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Tuesday, February 20, 2018

Daily Jokes from SydesJokes for 20 Feb 2018

 

Joke 1

Thomas Huxley

SydesJokes Blog

Original post: http://bit.ly/2GGHEi0


Joke 2

A life spent making mistakes is not only more honorable, but more useful than a life spent doing nothing. - George Bernard Shaw


Joke 3

Doug came home to find a total stranger in bed with Tammy so he rushed outside and grabbed his shotgun. 'It's alright, It's alright' said the stranger. 'I'm a doctor, I'm taking her temperature.'

Doug pulled back the hammers on his shotgun. 'Well, that thing better have numbers on it when you take it out.'


Joke 4

Q: Why won't cannibals eat divorced women?
A: They're always bitter.


Joke 5

A businessman had a tiring day on the road. He checked into a hotel and, because he was concerned that the dining room might close soon, left his luggage at the front desk and went immediately to eat. After a leisurely dinner, he reclaimed his luggage and realized that he had forgotten his room number.

He went back to the desk and told the clerk on duty, "My name is Henry Davis, could you please tell me what room I am in?"

"Certainly," said the clerk. "You're in the lobby."


Joke 6

Bob was such a womanizer. Everywhere he went, he was always hitting on women. True to his form, he was at a department store one afternoon and was attracted to one of the saleswomen and proceeded to see if she would go out with him that evening.

She snapped at him, "I know your type. You think you can take me for drinks, and then try to get me back to your apartment, and then get me in to your bed. I can read you like a book."

Bob just smiled and said, "Well then, don't miss Chapter 5, it's a doozie."


Joke 7

A woman is in her doctors office and suddenly shouts,

"Doctor, kiss me!"

The doctor looks at her and says,

"I'm sorry, but it would be against my code of ethics to kiss you."

Twenty minutes later the woman shouts again,

"Doctor, please kiss me!"

Again he refuses, apologetically, and says,

"As a doctor I simply cannot kiss you."

Finally after another fifteen minutes the woman pleads with the doctor again,

"Please, please kiss me, just once!"

"Look," he says. "I am sorry. I just CANNOT kiss you, in fact I probably shouldn't even be having sex with you."


Joke 8

Q: What happened to the boy who ditched school to go bungee jumping?
A: He was suspended


Jealousy

SydesJokes Blog

Original post: http://bit.ly/2GI4l5E


 

 

 

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