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Tuesday, February 6, 2018

Daily Jokes from SydesJokes for 6 Feb 2018


Joke 1

Leadership and learning

SydesJokes Blog

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Joke 2

An invisible man marries an invisible woman. The kids were nothing to look at either.

Joke 3

Judge to defendant: "You are accused of dumping trash in a forbidden area. Didn't you see the sign posted there?"

Defendant: "Yes sir, I sure did. It says in big letters 'FINE FOR DUMPING'."

Joke 4

Q: What's the difference between dark and hard?
A: It stays dark all night.

Joke 5

A bloke goes to the doctor and tells him that he hasn't been feeling well. The doctor examines him, leaves the room and comes back with three different bottles of pills.

The doctor recommends, "Take the green pill with a big glass of water when you get up. Take the blue pill with a big glass of water after lunch. Then just before going to bed, take the red pill with another big glass of water."

Startled to be put on so much medication the man stammers, "Hell, Doc, what's my problem?"

The doctor says, "You're dehydrated; not drinking enough water!"

Joke 6

Little Johnny lived in the country.

They had to use an outhouse, and Little Johnny hated it because it was hot in the summer, cold in the winter and stank all the time. The outhouse was sitting on the bank of a creek and Little Johnny determined that one day he would push that outhouse into the creek. One day after a spring rain, the creek was swollen so Little Johnny decided today was the day to push the outhouse into the creek.

He got a large stick and started pushing. Finally, the outhouse toppled into the creek and floated away. That night his dad told him they were going to the wood shed after supper. Knowing that meant a spanking, Little Johnny asked why.

The dad replied, "Someone pushed the outhouse into the creek today. It was you, wasn't it, son?"

Little Johnny answered yes. Then he thought a moment and said, "Dad, I read in school today that George Washington chopped down a cherry tree and didn't get into trouble because he told the truth."

The dad replied, "Well, son, George Washington's father wasn't in that cherry tree."

Joke 7

One day, the rabbi asked the priest if he could sit in on a confession session since he had always been curious about what went on. The priest agreed and that afternoon of them the two of them were sitting in a confession booth.

A woman came in and said, "I have sinned. I have committed adultery three times this past week."

The priest said, "Put twenty dollars in the poor box and your sins will be forgiven."

Just then the priest's secretary came and asked the priest if he could take a long distance phone call.

The priest said to the rabbi, "You carry on. You know how it goes."

The next woman said, "Father I have sinned. I have committed adultery twice this past week."

The rabbi said, "Go and commit adultery once more. We have a special on this week -- three for twenty dollars."

Joke 8

Q: How are playing cards like wolves?
A: Because they come in packs


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