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Monday, February 5, 2018

Daily Jokes from SydesJokes for 5 Feb 2018

 

Joke 1

Buddha

SydesJokes Blog

Original post: http://bit.ly/2Dp8F7F


Joke 2

Assumption is the mother of all screw-ups.


Joke 3

A customer called the airline's reservation office to pay for his ticket with a credit card. The reservation specialist asked him, "Would you please spell the nameas it appears on the card, sir?"

The customer carefully replied, "V-I-S-A."


Joke 4

Q: What's the difference between a man and a condom?
A: Condoms have changed. They're no longer thick and insensitive


Joke 5

Customer: "I've been ringing 0700 2300 for two days and can't get through to enquiries, can you help?".

Operator: "Where did you get that number, sir?".

Customer: "It was on the door to the Travel Centre."

Operator: "Sir, they are our opening hours."


Joke 6

"Well Robert," said the psychiatrist, "why the long face today?"

"I got fired from my job at the grocery store," he said. "The boss caught me with my organ in the meat slicer."

The doctor was mortified. "My God, Robert, why did you do a thing like that?"

Robert sighed, "She wanted it, too."


Joke 7

A woman sought the advice of a sex therapist, confiding that she found it increasingly difficult to find a man who could satisfy her, and that it was very wearisome getting in and out of all these short term relationships.

"Isn't there some way to judge the size of a man's equipment from the outside?" she asked earnestly.

"The only foolproof way, is by the size of his feet," counseled the therapist.

So the woman went downtown and proceeded to cruise the streets, until she came across a young fellow standing in an unemployment line with the biggest feet she had ever laid her eyes on.

She took him out to dinner, wined and dined him, and then took him back to her apartment for an evening of abandon.

When the man woke up the next morning, the woman had already gone but, by the bedside table was a $20 bill and a note that read,

"With my compliments. Take this money and go out and buy a pair of shoes that fit you."


Joke 8

Q: What do you call a man with an opinion?
A: Wrong.


It's not hard to fail

SydesJokes Blog

Original post: http://bit.ly/2Dp8CZx


 

 

 

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