Joke 1
Lack of planning on your part
Original post: http://bit.ly/2GbjHOK
Joke 2
Why does someone believe you when you say there are four billion stars; but have to check when you say the paint is still wet?
Joke 3
The mother catches her kid masturbating and warns him: "Ben, you're gonna go blind if you keep touching yourself."
And the kid answers, "Well, can I just do it, then, until I need glasses?"
Joke 4
Q: Why do men get their great ideas in bed?
A: Because their plugged into a genius!
Joke 5
A rather awkward freshman finally got up the nerve to ask a pretty junior for a dance at the homecoming. She gave him the once-over.
Then she said, "Sorry, I won't dance with a child."
"Please forgive me," responded the underclassman. "I didn't realize you were pregnant."
Joke 6
Judy calls the police station and says, "My hubby is missing."
The officer asks, "How long has he been gone?"
"A month."
"Why did you wait so long to report it?"
"Well, until yesterday I thought it was just a dream."
Joke 7
One guy is covered with bandages from head to toe. The other guy asks him, "What do you do for a living?"
"I used to be a window washer."
"And you decided to give it up?"
"Yeah."
"When?"
"Oh, about halfway down."
Joke 8
Q: What starts with "t" ends with "t" and is filled with "t"?
A: A teapot
If you love deeply
Original post: http://bit.ly/2G9y2eK
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