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Tuesday, January 16, 2018

Daily Jokes from SydesJokes for 16 Jan 2018

 

Joke 1

The Government Banning Bitcoin

SydesJokes Blog

Original post: http://csyd.es/1/305


Joke 2

The first wealth is health. - Ralph Waldo Emerson


Joke 3

Little Sonia was shouting her prayers. "Please God send me a new doll for my birthday."

Her mother, overhearing this, said, "Don't shout dear, God isn't deaf."

No, but Grandad is, and he's in the next room, Sonia replied.


Joke 4

Q: Did you hear about the pregnant bedbug?
A: She had her baby in the spring.


Joke 5

A husband and wife were debating on buying a new car. She wanted a fast sports car. He wanted a pickup. As time passed on, her birthday came up and she thought it a great time to fulfill her wish.

She told her husband, "Look, I want something that can go from 0 to 200. Furthermore, I want it to be able to do it in just a few seconds!"

The husband bought her a bathroom scale.

(The funeral is at 3:00pm Wednesday)


Joke 6

Dewey is sitting at the bar staring morosely into his beer. Steve walks in, sits down, and asks him what the problem is.

Well, said Dewey, "I ran afoul of one of those awkward questions women ask. Now I'm in deep trouble at home."

What kind of question? asked Steve.

My wife asked me if I would still love her when she gets old, fat, and wrinkly.

That's easy, said Steve. "You just say, 'Of course I will.'"

Yeah, said Dewey, "that's what I meant to say, except I said, 'Of course I DO...'"


Joke 7

A Mexican bandit made a specialty of crossing the Rio Grande from time to time and robbing banks in Texas. Finally, a reward was offered for his capture, and an enterprising Texas ranger decided to track him down.

After a lengthy search, he traced the bandit to his favorite cantina, snuck up behind him, put his trusty six-shooter to the bandit's head, and said, "You're under arrest. Tell me where you hid the loot or I'll shoot you."

But the bandit didn't speak English, and the Ranger didn't speak Spanish.

The Ranger asked a local to translated his message. The terrified bandit blurted out, in Spanish, that the loot was buried under the oak tree in back of the cantina.

"What did he say?" asked the Ranger anxiously

The local answered, He say, "He no afraid to die!"


Joke 8

Q: Did you hear about the red ship and the blue ship that collided?
A: The survivors were marooned.


What ever you decide to do

SydesJokes Blog

Original post: http://csyd.es/1/207


 

 

 

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