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Tuesday, January 23, 2018

Daily Jokes from SydesJokes for 23 Jan 2018

 

Joke 1

George Bernard Shaw

SydesJokes Blog

Original post: http://csyd.es/1/583


Joke 2

Blessed is the man who, having nothing to say, abstains from giving us wordy evidence of the fact. - George Eliot


Joke 3

Little Jill asks her mother, "Can I go over to Rosey's house and watch the magic show?"

Mother replied, "Whatever do you mean, dear?"

Jill said, "The one she performs. I heard her tell Nina she got $600 for doing six tricks last night."


Joke 4

Q: What do you call a veterinarian with laryngitis?
A: A hoarse doctor.


Joke 5

A salesman's car breaks down, so he asks a farmer to let him spend the night, and the farmer agrees. In the middle of the night, the salesman wakes up and is really thirsty, so he decides to go to the barn and get some milk from a cow.

Soon, the farmer hears noises coming from the barn and goes to investigate. He then sees the salesman coming out of the barn soaking wet and with a white liquid dripping down his face. The farmer asks, "What happened to you?"

The salesman says, "I just got thirsty, so I milked your cow. It was so dark in there I don't know how I did it. But I'm telling you, that cow has great milk! I must have drank a gallon of it!"

The farmer then stares at him with a puzzled look and says, "But we don't have a cow. We just have the bull..."


Joke 6

The young couple was engaged in a most affectionate embrace when there came the sound of a key in the front door.

The young lady broke away at once, eyes wide with alarm. "Oh God," she cried, "it's my husband! Quick, jump out the window."

The young man, equally alarmed, made a quick step toward the window,then stopped. "I can't," he said, "we're on the 13th floor."

"For chrissakes," cried the young lady in exasperation, "do you think this the right f*ckin' time to be superstitious?"


Joke 7

Little Johnny was left to fix lunch.

When his mother returned with a friend, she noticed that Johnny had already strained the tea.

The two women then sipped their tea happily while having lunch.

"Was it hard finding the tea strainer in the kitchen?" Johnny's mother asked.

"I couldn't find it Ma, so I used the fly swatter," he replied.

His mother nearly fainted, so Johnny hastily added: "Don't get excited, Ma, I used the old one!"


Joke 8

Q: What do you call an artificial stone?
A: A shamrock.


Helen Keller

SydesJokes Blog

Original post: http://csyd.es/1/584


 

 

 

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