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Friday, January 19, 2018

Daily Jokes from SydesJokes for 19 Jan 2018


Joke 1

Life is too short

SydesJokes Blog

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Joke 2

If I have seen farther than others, it is because I was standing on the shoulders of giants. - Isaac Newton

Joke 3

Gail, the attractive secretary was inclined to brag way too much about her "dates" to suit the other women in the office.

One day, she was going on and on about a Texan who had treated her like a Queen all evening and at the end of the date, gave her 2 hundred dollar bills for "cab fare".

"Imagine that." came a voice from the other side of the filing cabinets, "A hundred-and-eighty dollar tip."

Joke 4

Q: How can you tell if a planet is married?
A: It has a ring around it.

Joke 5

An efficiency expert, called into a company to find out why they were losing money, stopped one man and asked him what he did.

"Nothing," said the employee.

The expert turned to another man standing nearby and asked him what he did.

"Nothing," was his reply.

"Oh," said the efficiency expert, "too much duplication."

Joke 6

There was a preacher that was trying to sell his horse. A potential buyer came to the church for a test ride.

"Before you start" the preacher said,"you should know that this horse only responds to church talk. "Go" is "Praise the Lord" and "Stop" is "Amen."

So the man on the horse says " Praise the Lord," and the horse starts to trot. The man again says "Praise the Lord," and the horse starts to gallop.

Suddenly there is a cliff right in front of the horse and the man yells "Amen!!!" The horse stops just at the edge of the cliff.

The man wipes the sweat from his brow and says "Praise the Lord."

Joke 7

Juan comes up to the Mexican border on his bicycle. He's got two large bags over his shoulders. The guard stops him and says, "What's in the bags?"

Sand, answered Juan.

The guard says, "We'll just see about that. Get off the bike." The guard detains Juan overnight and has the sand analyzed, only to discover that there is nothing but pure sand in the bags. He releases Juan and lets him cross the border.

A week later, the same thing happens. The guard asks, "What's in the bags?"

Sand, says Juan.

The guard does his thorough examination and discovers that the bags contain nothing but sand. He gives the sand back to Juan, and Juan crosses the border on his bicycle.

This sequence of events is repeated every week for three years.

Finally, Juan doesn't show up one day and the guard meets him in a Cantina in Mexico.

Hey Buddy, says the guard, "I know you are smuggling something. It's driving me crazy. It's all I think about...Just between you and me, what are you smuggling?"

Juan sips his beer and says, "Bicycles."

Joke 8

Q: How do crazy people go through the forest?
A: They take the psycho path.

Amelia Earhart

SydesJokes Blog

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