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Saturday, January 27, 2018

Daily Jokes from SydesJokes for 27 Jan 2018

 

Joke 1

No matter how big a hammer you use

SydesJokes Blog

Original post: http://csyd.es/1/780


Joke 2

They tell you that you'll lose your mind when you grow older. What they don't tell you is that you won't miss it very much.


Joke 3

At the office, Judy says that she was going home early because she didn't feel well.

Maury, unfairly insinuating that Pauly, his co-worker, is sleeping with her, quips to Pauly, "Is it something you have given her?"

Pauly: "I sure hope not. She has morning sickness."


Joke 4

Q: What do you call a musician without a girlfriend?
A: Homeless.


Joke 5

Wife: 'You always carry my photo in your wallet. Why?'

Hubby: 'When there is a problem, no matter how great, I look at your picture and the problem disappears.'

Wife: 'You see how miraculous and powerful I am for you?'

Hubby: Yes! I see your picture and ask myself what other problem can there be greater than this one?'


Joke 6

The teacher is teaching Basic English to the third graders and asks them to make a sentence with the word "clock."

Little Marsha wrote: At home in the lounge we have an old clock.

Little Maury wrote: My mom gave my dad a clock for his birthday.

Little Pauly wrote: My sister's boyfriend gave my sister a big clock.

Pauly was immediately sent home with a note for his parents. His claim that omitting the "l" was just an oversight was not accepted.


Joke 7

A woman and her son are taking a cab in New York City. It's raining and all the hookers are standing under the awnings.

The young boy asks, "Mom, what are all those women doing?"

"They're waiting for their husbands to get off work."

The cabbie turns around and says, "Geez lady, why don't you tell him the truth? They're hookers, boy! They have s*x with men for money."

The little boy's eyes get wide and he says, "Is that true, Mom?"

His mother, glaring hard at the cabbie, answers "yes."

"Mom, what happens to the babies those women have?"

"Most of them become cab drivers."


Joke 8

Q: What do you call a coke bottle full of bees?
A: A West Virginia Vibrator


Be you

SydesJokes Blog

Original post: http://csyd.es/1/781


 

 

 

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