British Corner Shop - British Food, Delivered Worldwide

British Corner Shop - British Food, Delivered Worldwide

Wednesday, January 3, 2018

Daily Jokes from SydesJokes for 3 Jan 2018

 

Joke 1

Vincent van Gogh

SydesJokes Blog

Original post: http://csyd.es/1/193


Joke 2

The trouble with current times is that the future is not what it used to be.


Joke 3

Two old ladies were sitting on a park bench complaining about their husbands. "My husband's losing his mind," one lady said. "Last week he went out and spent $400 for a waterbed."

"That sounds exciting," the other lady said.

"Exciting, hell," the first old lady said. "The way my husband's thing has been reacting the last few years, that waterbed might as well be the Dead Sea."


Joke 4

Q: What is a pirate's favourite letter?
A: R(Arrrrrggggh)


Joke 5

Mary: So this really drunk, obnoxious guy kept bothering me at the party last weekend.

Jill: What happened?

Mary: Well, he cornered me, pulled his thing out of his pants, and asked me, "Do you want to suck it?"

Jill: Ohmigod! What did you do?

Mary: Well, I think I handled it pretty well. I just said, "No, you Go ahead. You don't have enough to share."


Joke 6

Little Johnny went to his first school dance. He didn't know if he would ever get up the nerve to ask a girl out to dance.

As the night went on everybody was dancing except Little Johnny. He just sat in the corner looking at everyone having fun.

Finally as the last song started to play Little Johnny spotted two very cute girls across the room sitting at their table. He walked over and asked one if she would like to dance. She looked him up and down and said "I am sorry but I am very particular with whom I dance with."

Little Johnny being the smart boy that he is, replied, "You can dam will see that I am not."


Joke 7

Q: Why did the cow jump over the moon?
A: Because the farmer had cold hands.


Joke 8


Conquer yourself rather than the world. - Descartes

SydesJokes Blog

Original post: http://csyd.es/1/195


 

 

 

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