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Saturday, January 20, 2018

Daily Jokes from SydesJokes for 20 Jan 2018

 

Joke 1

Dr. Seuss

SydesJokes Blog

Original post: http://csyd.es/1/580


Joke 2

It's only premarital sex if you're going to get married. - Anonymous


Joke 3

A woman goes into a sporting goods store to buy a rifle. "It's for my husband," she tells the clerk.

Did he tell you what gauge to get? asked the clerk.

Are you kidding? she says. "He doesn't even know that I'm going to shoot him!"


Joke 4

Q: Did you hear about the man who was tap dancing?
A: He broke his ankle when he fell into the sink.


Joke 5

A corporate executive received a monthly bill from the law firm that was handling a big case for his company.  It included hourly billing for conferences, research, phone calls, fax, photocopying, and everything but lunch hours.

Unhappy as he was, the executive knew that the company would have to pay for each of these services.

Then he noticed one item buried in the middle of the list:

"For crossing the street to talk to you, then discovering it wasn't you at all - $125."


Joke 6

A collector of rare books ran into an acquaintance who told him he had just thrown away an old Bible that he found in a dusty, old box. He happened to mention that Guten-somebody- or-other had printed it.

Not Gutenberg? gasped the collector.

Yes, that was it!

You idiot! You've thrown away one of the first books ever printed. A copy recently sold at auction for half a million dollars!

Oh, I don't think this book would have been worth anything close to that much, replied the man. "It was scribbled all over in the margins by some clown named Martin Luther."


Joke 7

A recent college graduate took a new job in a hilly Eastern city and began commuting each day to work through a tiring array of tunnels, bridges and traffic jams. Thinking it would make the trip more bearable, he invited several coworkers to share the ride. However, the commute actually got more stressful, especially the trips through the tunnels. He consulted the company doctor.

Doc, the frustrated commuter complained, "I'm fine on the bridges, in the traffic, in the day and at night, and even when Joe forgets to bathe all week. But now, when I get in the tunnels with those four other guys crowded into the car, I get anxious and dizzy, and I feel like I'm going to explode."

Without further analysis, the doctor announced he had diagnosed the ailment.

What is it, Doc? Am I going insane?

No, no, no, my boy. You have something that is becoming more and more common.

Tell me! What is it?

You have what is known as Carpool Tunnel Syndrome.


Joke 8

Q: Did you hear about the two men who walked into a bar?
A: The third one ducked.


Eleanor Roosevelt

SydesJokes Blog

Original post: http://csyd.es/1/582


 

 

 

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